Of course, this is from my slightly jaded perspective, but my actual birthday (this past Monday) kind of sucked.

I didn't feel very good. I had a head cold or some sort of mild-ish flu, and I had to work even more hours than I normally do on a Monday.

No one planned a surprise party for me.

Which I secretly always hope for.

I guess I never totally outgrew that thing of really liking my birthday and liking to be the "Special Person" for the day.

But...lots of people left me wonderful birthday messages on Facebook, my sister stopped by, people texted me, my sister called, two good friends called...so yes, I felt very blessed by all of you in that way!

Jeremy and I always go away for a weekend sometime around our birthdays. Mine is the end of September, his is the beginning of November.  We often go away sometime in October, but this year we went a little earlier because a) this was one of the weekends it suited our wonderful friends, Mike and Morgan, to keep the kids and b) we were going to be going 4-wheeling for part of the time and I would rather do that when it is still a little warmer outside.

Friday late afternoon found me dropping the kids off with my sister (who kept them overnight and then delivered them to Morgan the next morning) and heading back home.

We decided to save a little money and just stay at our own house on Friday night. We did go out to eat, which was really fun.

I think this quote kind of sums up my weekend:

This seems to happen to me a lot.

Yes, I knew the weekend was fun. But there were a couples of "downers", including the fact that Jeremy didn't feel very good. (Remember afore-mentioned head-cold..well, I think I caught it from him)

But, when I looked through the pictures and talked about it later, I realized that the weekend was FULL of wonderful times and great moments...which turn into great memories.

Here are the pictures:

Driving (We stopped at a "Fall Festival" in a little town near us on the way to our destination. It was so fun and cozy and fall-ish.)

The Rig.

Getting ready to hit the trails.

I know. I know. I look super classy. You don't have to mention it.  Really!

This was after we had written for a while and found ourselves right back where we had started. Time to consult the map, people.  (We had a good laugh about that one!)

I stopped to take a picture of this tree. It was SO pretty.  ("Photo op" - I told Jeremy.  He just kind of sighed, but he waited for me.)

Some guys on dirt bikes who went past us while I was photographing the tree.

View from our hotel room window.  Lake Superior at sunset.  SO beautiful!

Just a bad picture of me. Before going out to dinner on Saturday evening. (Don't pretend that you didn't notice my prominent double chin. I totally saw you staring at it!)

We went on a walk down by the lakeshore on Sunday morning. It was a gorgeous day. Sunshiny and just awesome.  We held hands and walked and talked. Then we sat on a bench and talked some more.

And tried to take a picture of ourselves.

This is the best one.

Just trust me.

The one where you can't see much of Jeremy.

And then we took some kissing pictures of ourselves.

This is also the best one of those.

Like I said...Trust me.

We went to this little hole-in-the-wall cafe for lunch.  I thought it was cute. Jeremy thought it lacked excellence.

Yes, he actually said those words.

Their French silk pie was quite tasty...that's all I'm sayin'.

And then we came back home.

And our kids were having so much fun they barely noticed we were back.

That's how you know you left them with the right friends!

The End.

Ok...so about a week ago I was inspired (by my friend Christy's blog) to do a photo project.  She actually had lots of great ideas, but the one that I thought sounded really fun was doing a project where you took a picture every 1/2 hour during your day.

I decided that yesterday was the day for that.

I didn't want to pick a Tuesday or Thursday because a picture of me behind my desk every 1/2 hour could have gotten JUST a tad boring.  Oh...Audrey at her desk.  And still there.  Yup, and...she's still there.

Wednesday is one of my "off work" days and the pictures that follow will be a typical Wednesday for me for the rest of the school year. Or until something unforeseen changes.

So, without further ado...here we go.

6:00 AM  -- Wake up time. I didn't take a 6 AM picture...because that would have just been wrong. I started with 6:30, since that was my first complete 1/2 hour of the day.  (I tried to take the pictures as close to the exact 1/2 hour as I could, but didn't quite always get is accomplished.)

6:30 AM, Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Laundry.  First load had been run through and dried last night. Second load was waiting to be dried and third load needed to be put in the washer.

7:00 AM

I am making two kinds of bar and packing lunches. Kids are up and eating breakfast.  Since I have a limited amount of time this morning to make stuff happen, I am getting at it earlier than normal.  (The 2 pans of bars were to send along with ladies from our church who are going to Women's Retreat this weekend. I am not going, but our church is responsible for snacks, so I said I would help. I had baked the brownie (bottom) layer of the bars last night so they were cooled and ready to finish this morning.)

7:30 AM

The boys are gone to school on the big yellow bus.  Nicole has the hiccups and around here we eat peanut butter when we have the hiccups.  Did you know that it works like a charm?

8:00 AM

My pork chops are in the crock pot and ready to be turned on when I leave the house. (And no, I didn't actually eat until I popped, as the title of the recipe suggests.  Although they did turn out really well.)

8:30 AM

I was working on finishing my butterfly outline. I have taken on this HUGE project of cross stitching this "Hello Kitty" blanket for Nikki onto this croqueted or knitted (I don't even know the difference) blanket that this lady that I know who works at Wal-Mart made for me. (how's that for a run-on sentence?) So nice of her, but sigh. Now I need to finish it. This butterfly outline is probably a 20th of the work to be done and it took me HOURS to complete it. Sigh. (Did I "sigh" twice in one paragraph?)

9:00 AM

My husband, Jeremy. He has been off of work for about 4 days because of a problem with his machine and he's been waiting for a part to come in, so he was home today. I went out to his shop to visit him a little. He is working on making some adjustments to the machine that we use to package our firewood bundles.

9:30 AM

Ready to leave the house. Nikki took this. Also, I was apparently ready to blow her nose...hence the Kleenex in my hand.

10:00 AM

I am in Derrick's 3rd grade classroom at school. He's the one with his hand raised. Wearing the yellow sweatshirt. I am planning to volunteer/hang out with each of my kids on alternating Wednesday mornings throughout the school year whenever I can. I just like to see what is going on with them and see how they interact with other kids and get a chance to talk with their teacher, etc.  They don't mind if I bring Nikki with me, which is really cool.

10:30 AM

They were doing different "stations" for an hour between 10 and 11. Derrick is at the "Leapster" station at this point.  Trying not to show his grin because I am taking a picture of him.

11:00 AM

This was probably about ten after 11 till I got this picture taken. Lunch time at the school cafeteria. Derrick had cold lunch today but I took the school lunch. Which was a fairly disgusting chef salad.

11:30 AM

Just ready to leave the lunch room and head back to their classrooms. It was going to be indoor recess today because it was raining outside. It rained pretty much all.day.long.

12:00 PM

Went and got gas and a cup of coffee and headed over to my friend Morgan's house.

12:30 PM

Sitting around at Morgan's. Karlee was not prepared to have her picture taken at this point, so I snapped one of Morgan's husband Mike.  I think he's pretty intent on whatever he's looking at on the computer.

1:00 PM  (So...this is where I was having really much fun hanging out and talking with my girlfriends to the point that I missed both my 1 PM and 1:30 PM pictures.  This one will work as the "1 PM" picture. Also...here is something awkward. Explain to your friends that you are doing this photo challenge thing for your blog and that is why you are being all weird and taking pictures every 1/2 hour.  They seemed to take it in stride, but probably because they already know I'm weird.)

I love this photo.  SO showcases their personalities and responses and how fun they both are!! LOVE you girls. You will be proud to know that this must have been the "funnest" part of my day because it was the only time I forgot to take my pictures.

1:30 PM -- Missing picture (SO sorry! I know you are all quite bummed!)

2:00 PM

Karlee's daughter was even LESS impressed than her mother with my photography attempts. She's got her best "pout face" on.

2:30 PM

A picture to show that I was working on my little cross-stitch project while visiting with them. If you know me, you know that this is SO not me to bring a "hand work project" to a get-together.  I'm a little embarrassed about it.  (And please tell me that this is not how I always look when I laugh. Oh.My.Word!)

3:00 PM

Leaving Morgan's house. (Nicole's shoes and socks)  She had to walk to the van barefoot because she got her socks wet outside. By going outside without her shoes on. And it was raining. Smart girly I've got.

3:30 PM

Boys have been collected from school and we are back home. This is where all the crap gets piled when people get in the door. (Our bar/counter)

4:00 PM

The boys are playing some sort of game with their stuff animals.  They do this a lot.

4:30 PM

The boys are supposed to be taking showers.  But I come up from downstairs and find out that apparently today Derrick is for some reason not cool with him and his brother taking their shower together (seems like it had something to do with not agreeing on water temperature) and Kendall is standing in our living room COMPLETELY naked!  Yup, he's still naked on here. You just can't tell cuz he's sitting down behind the laundry basket.

5:00 PM

This is what Nikki was doing while I was exercising and getting supper finished up, etc.  Playing with her beads by dumping them into her rain boots.  Why?? I have no clue.

5:30 PM

Time for supper. But Jeremy had run to town and didn't tell me, so we had to start eating without him. He showed up about 10 minutes later.

6:00 PM

I showered and got ready for Bible study. The kids were playing their "1/2 hour of electronic a day" time.  They are QUITE intent on that screen.

6:30 PM

Getting Nikki's hair combed for Bible study. Always SO much fun! Not.

7:00 PM

Almost to Bible study. Jeremy is on the phone with a friend.

7:30 PM

So I snuck out of the adult's Bible study to take a picture of the kids who were watching a Veggie Tales video in the living room. I was too shy to take a picture DURING Bible study. Cuz that would just be weird, right?

8:00 PM

But then I had to overcome my fear or else I would miss my "8 PM" time slot.  I tried to be as discreet as I could but people looked at me QUITE weirdly when I took a random shot during Bible study.  No one asked any questions, though!

8:30 PM

Just after Bible study ended.  Our pastor's daughter, Kyla, with her newest nephew.  10 day old Ethan. He's still SO tiny and SO cute.

9:00 PM

Home and ready for bed. If these kids of mine don't get to sleep by 8:30 they are a mess in the morning.  This is 9:14, so yes, on Bible study nights we are running behind. And yes, Nikki was a DISASTER this morning!

9:30 PM

And I was sleeping by 10.

That's my day.  No wonder I feel tired a lot.

It is always amazing to me how God uses repetition to get through to me.

Like He knows that if I hear something just once...it won't sink in. But if I hear it three or four times and less than that many weeks, I will start to connect the dots.

Yeah, I guess I tend to be a little slow like that.

Rewind about two or three weeks, and our Sunday School discussion at church was about the parable of talents. (It is found in  Matthew 25:14-30 and Luke 19:12-27).

In case you are not familiar with that parable, it is where the Master gives three different servants some talents. One has 10, one has 5, and one has only 1.  The first two guys both make good use of and doubled their talents. The last guy who has only 1 talent hides it in the earth and does nothing with it because he was afraid of the Master.

We talked about how, practically speaking, it is NOT about how much or little we have in the way of talents, it is about our being willing to use them and about our attitude towards the Master. (One of respect, awe and love, not of fear) We are not to waste what God has given us, no matter how insignificant we think it is. EVERYONE is good at something.

Then Jeremy preached that morning about how when we REALLY believe something (for instance, saying we believe in Jesus and that we are a Christ-follower), it WILL make a difference in our actions and people will be able to tell that we are serious about what we believe.  Belief is followed by action!!!

Fast forward to this past Thursday evening at our "Element" group Bible study.  The discussion was out of Mark Chapter 6 and it was in regards to the story of the feeding of the 5,000.  Where Jesus miraculously turned 2 loaves and 5 fish into enough food to feed a crowd of 5,000 men plus women and children!!

Now, that doesn't seem very related, but wait...

it was!!

The challenge issued to us, which I am passing along to you, is to use our "little" to fill a need this coming week. We had to all go around and say something we are good at (have you ever tried this? It feels really vulnerable for some reason) and the others in the group gave us ideas of how we could use that particular talent instead of making excuses or thinking that it wasn't worth much or thinking someone could do it better.  Instead of wasting what we have, we are to look for opportunities to use our talents to meet a need...no excuses!

How about you?  What are you good at?

Are you wasting what God has given you because you think someone else can do it better?

Or are you using the talents that you have for His kingdom?

This whole subject has really got me thinking:

What am I good at? and am I using these talents for His glory?

(By the way, the thing I said I was good at?? Typing.  And one other one I can think of is Hospitality.)

PS - Coming up later this week.  I am taking on a photo challenge (presented by my friend Christy) tomorrow to take a picture of my day every 1/2 hour. You will learn WAY more about me and my life than you ever wanted to know!  Ha, ha.

Taking on Gypsy Mama's challange again today:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Go a little overboard encouraging the writer who linked up before you.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

JOY

Here goes...

It is the first name of the clerk that I met while walking down the aisle at Wal-Mart this morning.

It is what is so enchanting about small children.  They are pure joy and delight. 

Everything seems to surprise them.

What kills joy?  Expectation.

When we imagine that things are going to turn out a certain way and then they don't...we are bummed. 

And we do that a LOT as adults.  We have pre-conceived ideas of what God or somebody else is going to do or how they are going to respond and when things don't turn out the way we think, we sometimes allow it to steal our joy.

Something else that kills joy?  Judgment instead of love.

Joyful people are awesome to be around.  They make you feel positive and encouraged.  They make you want to be a better person.

Un-joyful people do just the opposite to your morale.

Joy is not something that is dependent on our circumstances.  It is something that comes from deep within that supercedes whatever we are going through.

Not to say that a joy-filled person never has a bad day or a crabby moment or becomes impatient.  But they bounce back. They CHOOSE joy even when they don't feel like choosing joy.

Because I think it often comes down to that. It is a choice.  Am I going to choose joy in this situation or will I wallow in my funk?

Joy is contagious.

Joy is sparkling and bright.

Joy is awesome.

Joy is in the upturned face of a child...gazing at the world in wonder.

Joy is everywhere.

If we will just look for it.

DONE

I wonder how the hyphen feels about the way we use it?

Over-use it.

Under-use it.

In-correctly use it.

I have to admit, I have NO clue what the rules for hyphenation are.

If it seems like a good place to stick one in...I stick-it in.

For instance:

3-year old.  Post-partum. Self-inflicting.  Re-tarded.   Mini-van.  Stay-at-home Mom.  But not "working-Mom."  Life-changing.  Sister-in-law.  (Didn't necessarily mean to make a connection between those last two. But you can if it works for your life story.)

I am sure there are rules. There is probably a whole dang manual about hyphens.

Should I make figuring out the rules of hyphen-usage my new project?  I think not.

But this...now this, I could make my new project.

Freakin' Hilarious!!

But it could also work in other instances.  Simple move the hyphen one word to the right and see what happens.

Let's try it out on some other examples.

Randomly.

Stolen from actual anonymous blogs.

"continually removing any and all manner of potential sleepy-time weapons from the room."

So, that would turn into "all manner of potential sleepy time-weapons from the room."

Next...

"The velvety silence of a child-free house is so peaceful and meditative"

turns into "the velvety silence of a child free-house is so peacful and meditative."

What the heck is a free-house?  Yeah, I don't know either? But I'm pretty sure I want one.

And another one...

Cuz I know you are totally getting a kick out of this just like I am.

"Have you ever made a care package or organized a letter-writing drive for a member of the Armed Services?"

becomes "Have you ever made a care package or organized a letter writing-drive for a member of the Armed Services?" 

"Writing-drive."  Hmm...Would that be like when you try to scribble down a phone # while you are driving?  Or make notes to yourself while on the cell phone while driving?  Not that I've ever done that.  Ahem. Ahem.

Or how about "There is no time-crunch, and everyone is engaged in their own activities."

is turned into "There is no time, crunch-and everyone is engaged in their own activities."

OK. Admittedly, I also took the liberty to move the comma. So sue me!!

You could have hours of fun with this...IF you had nothing else to do and were creative.

I am also thinking that the hyphen has gotten quite a kick-in-the-pants lately with this ever-increasingly-popular method of writing things out that I have seen on various blogs and been guilty of doing myself from time to time.

It goes something like this:  "My naughty children were oh-so-very-happy-that-I-sent-them-all-to-their-rooms-without-dinner."

or you can use it when trying to express frustration or trying to get across a way of speaking when trying to tell a story on your blog.

Something like -  I was all like "What-in-the-world-could-you-have-possibly-been-thinking-don't-you-ever-use-your-brain?"

Cuz the more hyphens I use the more annoyed I am. Apparently.

That type of sentence is closely akin to the possibly even more frustrated version which involves lots of periods.

As in "I.was.so.very.pissed.I.could.not.even.think.of.what.to.say" type of deal.

Emphasis, people.    E.M.P.H.A.S.I.S.

So, what are your favorite ways to mis-use hyphens?

Please-tell-me-RIGHT-now!!!

I know I am a little late with getting these pictures up, but better late than never, right?

We have the privilege in the Kilmer family of having a small extended family.

We can still get together with all of my Dad's side of the family and only have about 30 people, including children and in-laws and grandchildren.

Mostly because my Dad only has 1 siblings who married (his sister is single) and quite a few of their kids didn't get married very young or have many kids early.

We usually get together for Christmas, but this year we decided to do a Labor Day weekend reunion which turned out to be really fun!

Here are a few pictures of what we were up to that weekend...in case you are interested!

My cousin Sheila and her Mom Loretta. (I always am most excited for our get-togethers because of the time I get to spend with Sheila. Even though she lives only 3 hours away, we usually don't end up seeing each other more than once or twice a year. She is such a sweetheart. And so calm and patient with her kids. I admire that!)

Just sitting around looking at photo albums, etc.  (My sister Debbie and my Mom)

The girls playing Polly Pockets in Mom and Dad's living room.

Eating candy and hanging out.

This is a common scene at family reunions.  My husband sleeping.  Oh, who am I kidding? This is a common scene any.time!

My Dad and his brother Glenn. I really like this picture of them. Just sitting around visiting and having a good time together.

Sheila and Bruce's son Darrin...hauling wood over from our place for the little campfire.

Cornhole toss and quates. In case you don't know what those are, it is kind of like horseshoes. (I was too lazy to play.)

My brother Loren (grey shirt) and cousin Jared.

My BIL Paul (married to Lynette - on right) and cousin Brenden.

Bruce with Patrick.

The boys and men played football in the yard later on.

Us ladies sat and watched. Then I got cold and went inside.  (From left to right: my sister Lynette, SIL Lourdes and sister Debbie with her daughter Sherra)

Every time we are together we play a Trivia game!  I LOVE Trivia. I am always the question asker. We are very serious about it, as you can tell. My cousins are super smart and there is no way my siblings or I can beat them. But we still have fun. (A raised hand means you have your answer in your head and then we all go around and say what our answer was.  Using the honor system. A right answer gets you 1 point.  Ending score:  My cousin Brenden - 25 points.  Me:  6 points.  OUCH!)

Debbie and I were in charge of Monday morning brunch.

BIL Paul with Debbie's Sherra

Cousin Justin with his finance' Shirl.  They are getting married at the beginning of October. What a cute couple!

Aunt Loretta organized a gift exchange/white elephant type of thing. The kids especially love that.

Yes, he tried to look like this. I don't even know how he did it.

And then there was the family ballgame. First time we have ever done this and it was a huge success. I LOVED it! The teams were pretty even. We let the little kids play too.  I felt so young and vibrant, to be out there hitting and fielding and running around those bases. I badly want to play in a co-ed team next year. Softball has long been my favorite sport!

My Mom even played.

And my Dad pitched (part time)

My brother Joe on first base.

Bruce (back catcher on here) was the only one who hit the ball over the fence. Not once, but twice.

Nikki mostly played in the dirt.

Sheila's son Darrin taking a break.

And that was that.

Good memories.  Fun times.

And then...

Boys' first day of school. Which was actually before Labor Day. Is that a crime or what? Yes, I think so.

I had the right idea.  A paper with their year and grade on it. Too bad I didn't think through the "can't really see the writing on the paper cuz I used too dark of construction paper thing" but now we're in a rush and no time to re-do it kind of thing.  Ugg.  Whatever. Story of my life.

Later...

Its one of those days...

The kind where you just sort of wish you had stayed in bed.

I feel tired.  A headache is coming on.

I am at work and just kind of bummed that I am here.

I am not feeling very cheery or thankful.

I wonder "What would Ann Voskamp tell me to do?"

(Maybe here is part of my problem...all of the above 4 sentences start with "I" -- I just noticed that!)

Too much self focus.

Not enough of God focus.

But some days...you know, you just feel in a funk. And you kinda sorta know why but yet not really.

So my question is this?

Do you have days like this?  (I'm pretty sure you do.)

What do you do to get out of the funk?

Just power through and trust tomorrow will be better?

Call up a friend and "whine"?   (Or make use of the other kind of wine?)

Find something to make you laugh?

Take a nap?

Pray?

Have a good cry?

Do tell...

How do you get out of the funk?

I need to know.

To my oldest son,

I know that tomorrow is your first day at a new school.

I know you are scared.  I know you are nervous and wondering how it will all go.

I don't miss the way your eyes start to fill with tears when you have asked me at least three times in the past week or two why we can't just homeschool.

I pretend not to notice the tears. Not because I don't care, but because I know that the course is set. At least for now.  You are going to school.  For me to give you any hope of something other than that would be a false hope.

I know it is going to be a huge change.  To go from a school of 50 - 60 kids into a school of 350, where you are one of 120 third graders instead of 1 of 10.  Its all new and unfamiliar and when I asked you what you are worried about you said "Everything."

"How will I know what to do at lunch?  How will I know where to go?  How will I get around when I don't know the building?"  These are questions that are in the forefront of your mind.

I reminded you that you have been to the school before. I reminded you that we will go to openhouse tonight and you'll get to look around again, see where your classroom is and so forth. 

But I also know you. I know how you hang back in new situations.  How it is hard for you to make friends. How you stand on the sidelines and let everyone else get picked first. How you wouldn't want to ask where to go or what to do, but would just watch for someone to hopefully show you the way. 

I know that sometimes we push you into situations that you are uncomfortable with.  Like football camp this year. You didn't want to go.  You cried that first day when I dropped you off at the field and I practically pushed you out there with the other kids.  I hung around to make sure you were OK, but it pains me to see you sad or uncomfortable.  Daddy and I push you like that because we love you.  Because we don't want you to grow up fearing new things or being afraid to try something you haven't done before.

And you were fine.  You absolutely loved football camp. You didn't want it to end.  And we knew that would happen.  That's why we pushed you.  But...that didn't make it any easier for me to send you out there with tears in your eyes.  Even though we prayed together and asked God to make you brave, my heart hurt for you.

You are so strong and brave and gentle and kind.  You are smart and caring and wise.  I couldn't be more proud of you!

Last night I talked with Daddy about your fears about school.  I told him how you are scared. How you get tears in your eyes when you talk about the first day of school.  I told him how you don't know any boys in your classroom. 

After Daddy had fallen asleep and I lay there listening to his gentle snoring and rhythemic breathing, I put myself in your shoes.  Nine years old.  Without Mom and Dad. Thrust into a big new world. 

What if you start to cry and no one notices?  What if you can't find your way to lunch and you wander around lost in a sea of backpacks and jeans and other third graders?  What if you need me and I can't be there?

It breaks my heart.  I don't know if you know this, son, but sometimes Mama's put on a brave smile just for your sake.  But inside, they're crying too.  I lay there in bed...thinking of you. Worried for you. Feeling like I am somehow letting you down.  Like its my job to protect you from everything in this life that could ever hurt you or make you sad.  The hot tears rolled silently down my cheeks.  I brushed them away with the back of my head and felt the ache of a sob that was stuck in my throat.

You don't know this yet, but maybe when you are a Daddy you will understand that parenting is nothing but a long process of letting go.  I lay there wishing that you were still a baby.  And that I could snuggle you against me and make sure no one makes you cry or says mean words to you or loses you in the crowd.  That I could keep you by me always. 

But I know that is not life.  I know that if you don't try out your wings, you won't ever learn how to fly.

And your Heavenly Father and mine...He reminded me.  Yes, Mothering is a process of letting go, but its not a release into nothing-ness, its a release of your hand from mine, gripping so tightly, and into the hands and arms of Someone much bigger than I am.  Who loves you so much more than I ever could.  And if you are crying at your desk...HE sees. He cares.  He will put His arms around you and comfort you and help you to know what to do.  Its just my job to make sure that you know that about Him.

So I keep that smile on my face and tell you that you're going to be fine.  That probably within a week you'll know that school like the back of your hand.  That I am sure you will make new friends.  I don't tell you that I am scared for you.  But I tell Jesus.  And I know that He hears and He cares and He will watch over you.

Because if I spend my life holding on too tightly, I crush you.  If I don't allow you to grow and change and face tough things, how do you ever learn how to pray? 

So with a smile on my face and a choking sob in my throat, I will watch you walk down that hallway and into your classroom. 

And I will get in my van and drive away.  Leaving you.  But not alone.  I will talk to Jesus about you and He will remind me that He knew you before you were ever born.  That He understands you and He will be there for you.

And I will choose peace. And rest. 

You're gonna be OK.  It's all gonna be OK.  Because His arms are big enough to hold both of us.

Is that even the proper word for the pictures that didn't exactly turn out?

Out-takes?

Can someone explain that to me?

And, is it supposed to be hypenated?

Bottom line:

I wanted to get family pictures taken while it was still green outside.   We always take a family picture of some sort every year (not nearly always professional) and I have them all hanging in a row along the top of the wall in our living room.  We have not taken a summer-y picture since the year that Nicole was born and I was two weeks post partum and not getting enough of sleep.  Not exactly my favorite of our family pictures.

My sister Debbie has recently bought a nice/good camera (don't ask me what it is, but it has those fancy lenses that you can change out) and she offered to take some pictures for us.  She doesn't claim to be a professional, but I was very thankful for her willingness to meet us at 6 PM on Wednesday night and snap some shots of our less than photogenic family.  I thought she did a wonderful job, given the material she had to work with.

She took 52 pictures.

About 7 of them are even able to be considered to be used for sending out to friends and family.

Not really her fault, as you will see shortly.

First off, apparently we have some clowns in the family.

And...they were doing things that I was unaware of during the pictures.

As in...

(The boys and I coined the term "Praying I don't have to pee" for Kendall's pose)

Ha, ha!  Let's make rabbit ears over Dad.  Very funny...

And yet another decent picture ruined by the bunny ears (and Nicole's scowl)

It is safe to say that Kendall ruined 10 of our family photos by purposely making funny faces.

This is kind of who he is.  I just didn't realize he was clowning around THIS much during pictures.

And here are all 10 of them for your viewing pleasure: 

(If you don't know which son is Kendall, just look for the one that is making the funny faces and/or hand motions. Ha, ha!)

(And no, I don't need you to mention that this jean jacket and short dress with leggings combo made me look quite fat and wide when you see it in its full length version. I already know that. Ok! Oh, and also, that I pretty much always hold my head to one side.  I have no idea what that is about, but I know that I do it. I think I need to see a chiropractor or something.)

And in case you were wondering where he gets his acting up tendencies from...well, wonder no longer.

Its not me sticking my tongue out in this picture!! I'm just sayin'.

There was a point where I WAS aware of the clowning around that was going on and I got just a little ticked off. I may have even raised my voice.  The mosquitoes were AWFUL (if you wonder why Nikki was not smiling on many of the pictures, it is because her little legs were ALL bit up -- we had no bug spray -- and she was too busy trying to keep from scratching.)

Anyway, there was a point, and it may have been right here...

when I started to get kind of ticked off and I was telling those boys off.  My expression looks like i might have been saying something like "You guys! Stop that!" and then I KNOW I said this "For every time you guys clown around or don't stand still, it is another misquito bite for every member of our family."  I guess that settled them right down.  Ha, ha, ha, ha! 

So, now Jeremy starts in. Supporting his frustrated wife.

And this is Kendall's response. I love how he takes us so seriously. 

At least I'm back to smiling again here.

Then there is the "pink panty" shot that Nikki provided while trying to scratch one of the mosquito bites on her leg. Derrick looks like he could use some mental help and my head is tilted to the EXTREME!

There is blurriness of the couple and a choke hold on Kendall from Derrick.

There is more blurriness and small scowling children in the background. (Actually, that sort of sounds like the story of my life.)

"I said HOLD the flowers...not thrust them at the camera."

I won't even try to name the things that are wrong with this shot. For once, Kendall looks positively adorable and calm.

Nikki continues to scratch. Kendall does a zen like pose and Derrick looks like he is making a vroom-vroom noise with his mouth. Surprisingly, Jeremy and I seem quite oblivious to all of the commotion and we look dang fine.

This one Nikki single handedly spoiled.  But she looks pretty cute doing it.

And then, apparently, something VERY intrigueing was happening off to their right.  An eagle?  A funny shaped cloud? A tree moving in the wind?  Who knows.

There you have it, folks.  I did save the best for later.  But don't worry. Even those aren't that great.

I kid you not.

This is the first word that came up when I went to the Random Word Generator.  Shop.

How well this computer knows me!

Because I DO love to shop!

As you know, I have been on a (clothing and accessories) shopping fast for about 2 months now and I still have about 4 months to go.

People who know me well have said to me "That is probably good for you" and I know they are right but I still thought about entering them into my little book that I kept by my nightstand.

You know who you are.  D and S.

But, back to the subject at hand:  I buy entirely too much clothing.  For myself.  And a break is a healthy thing for me. (Although there was that Situation on the way to South Dakota where I saw this beautiful, handmade necklace at a truck stop - for $6 - and I kind of sort of begged my husband to buy it for me. At least with my eyes and not with my words. And he did. And then he called me a legalist.  Whatever, dude.   Well, you're a super nice and kind husband. So there.)

It has been interesting and kind of intrigueing to me how many other women that I know HATE to shop.  For themselves. Now for their kids, yes, they love that.

But they would sooner buy stuff for their kids and dress their kids than themselves.

I have found that I am definitely in the minority in that I would MUCH rather shop and buy clothing for myself than for my kids.  For one thing, the kids really don't care. And then just when you would pick out this ADORABLE little outfit for them to wear that just goes perfectly together, that will be the time they decide that no, they really do not like those items together and they will pair two clashing shades of pick together and be good to go.

I was just talking to a friend lately and she said (something along the lines of) that the idea of going shopping for herself, gathering together a bunch of clothing that she thinks might fit her and going into the dressing room with it makes her feel claustropobic and makes her want to hyperventilate.

Me...I LOVE gathering clothes and trying them on. Granted, yes, I feel like all dressing room mirrors and lighting conspire to make me look significantly larger than I really am, and yes, at least 1/2 of the stuff I try on doesn't fit me well at all, but that doesn't keep me going back for more.

Its the thrill of the chase, people.

And then when you find that wonderful top or pants or whatever that just fits you perfectly and makes you feel all purr-ty, its just so worth it.

Jeremy knows I love to shop. And he puts up with it.

We have spent many a week-end get-away (in part) with me shopping and him going to a tool store or taking a nap in the van.  Which he is totally happy for an excuse to do, by the way, so don't be feeling all sorry for him.

But...during my "no clothing buying" period of time, I can still look, right?

So...here are some things I have been wanting {ok, possibly coveting} while in my i-can't-buy-that-right-now-maybe-later stage.

Pretty much this whole outfit, but especially the sweater.

This super cute necklace. Which randomly even has my first initial on it.

These shoes...AWE-SOME!

This dress. So pretty and feminine.

And last by not least...

my recent obsession...

Pretty cowboy boots.

I think I also want to move out west.

And join the rodeo.

Oh, and learn to ride a horse and barrel race.

And marry a cowboy. (Oh, wait. I am already married. Maybe I could turn Jeremy INTO a cowboy.)

Whatever. I think this ^^^ is a whole different issue.  Nevertheless, I have been obsessed with getting a pair of cowboy boots.

I wonder if they are on sale in January?

So the question of the day is:  Do you love to shop for yourself? Or do you hate it?

And why?