Looking at this picture, I have no clue why we were hesitant to buy Kendall a gun.

Do you?  (ha, ha)

 

You know how sometimes you try the same things over and over with your strong willed child and it seems to be to no avail?

Things like patience and kindness and love.

And, then, one day your son comes home from school with homework.

Immediately, he starts in to the same old pattern.  Whining. Fussing. Crying.

He’s 8. Ok. Let’s not forget that small fact.  He’s not 2 any more.

There are other ways to communicate.

So I said to him, calmly but firmly.  ”Listen. You need to stop crying and whining. I will help you. But you need to talk in a regular voice.”

His teacher had recently confirmed that he NEVER cries about his work at school.  So I know he is capable of doing homework without tears.

After a few exchanges back and forth, I said “You need to stop using that voice” and then he said “Well, then you need to stop using that voice.” 

He says its my yelling voice.  Really, it is just me being stern and talking in a moderate but firm voice.

I said “Ok, you stop whining and crying and talk in your regular voice and I’ll do the same.”

We attempted to proceed.

But there was just more crying and fussing.

So I yelled loudly (actually yelled) at him “GET YOUR WORK DONE!” 

He looked at me with surprise and the corner of his mouth turned up in a twitchy smile.

He knew what was going on.  He was whining so I was really and truly yelling.

But, he couldn’t quite decide to find it funny.

After all. Mom had yelled.  How dare she???

He said something else whiny and I yelled (yes, really yelled) again. 

“I DON’T CARE. JUST DO YOUR HOMEWORK!”

This time, his face turned into a pout and he stormed off to his room and slammed the door.

Repeatedly.

I wondered if I had just made a parenting error.  Maybe had a lapse in judgement.

Because I know that 2 wrongs don’t make a right.  Usually, at least.

But…we have had this homework (crying, whining) issue for quite some time and frankly, I was just pretty fed up with it.

I was ready to try something different.

Guess what?  After about 10 minutes he came out of his room.

His math homework was done.

He was part way finished with his other homework sheet and this time, when he asked for help from me, he used a reasonable and normal tone of voice.

And so did I.

The homework was finished within 10 minutes after his re-appearance and the rest of the day continued on without any further ado.

If you were appalled while reading this, then I would be interested in hearing a better solution.

Did I cross the line?  Does the fact that I got my message across justify the means by which I did it?

I’m not sure.

But the homework did get done. The attitude did change.

I’m just left wondering if it was all OK.

It is one of those days where I am not feeling much inspiration.

But…I have these pictures already uploaded so I figured I may as well do a little blog post about Kendall’s 8th birthday party, which was about 2 weeks ago.

Does anyone else get stressed out by birthday parties?

Even when I think back on them, usually I remembered feel flushed and frenzied. 

It often seems as if it doesn’t work out for Jeremy to be around to help with the party, so that leaves me to chaperone and feed and deal with 8 – 10 kids. On my own.  (Thankfully, for this one, my friend Morgan agreed to come and watch the kids at the pool for a bit while I got the room where the party was to be held all ready.  If you’re reading this, Morgan, thanks SO much. You were a life saver!!)

I grew up without much birthday celebration.  I don’t recall being sad about that, but I wanted at least a little something more for my kids.

Truth be told, I actually really enjoy the “pre-party” portion of the planning.  I like deciding on a theme and ordering the supplies and scouring Pinterest for the ideas and making the cake.

Its just the couple hours of the actual party that always seem kind of crazy.

Granted, it has gotten a bit easier as my kids (and their friends) get older, but it still feels like a lot to manage.

I think the reasons I keep repeating the craziness are these:

1.  My kids LOVE their birthday parties and look forward to them so much!

2.  I only have three kids.  So that means this only occurs three times a year. I can deal with that.

So, without further ado –

Pictures!!

The whole crew.

The cake.  The theme of his party was “Gold” because it was his golden birthday!

A “rainbow” with a pot of gold at the end of it!  (This is when Derrick made his comment about “kids these days not eating fruit anymore.”)

Gold drawstring goody bags for the kids.

In the pool!

Opening gifts!

A blurry picture of my 8 year old blowing out the candles.

I am linking up today with The Gypsy Mama’s 5 minute Friday.

The word is “Beloved” and here are the rules that she has posted on her blog.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog’s footer}.

3. Go and tell the person who linked up before you what their words meant to you. Every writer longs to feel heard.

 

GO

When I think of the word “beloved” my mind just continues to gravitate towards God.  We are His Beloved.  He created us to be the objects of His love and for us to return that love to Him.

Growing up, I didn’t hear much about the love of God or His grace. Maybe it was just my filter or my personality, or maybe there really wasn’t much of that teaching TO hear, but either way, the reason is not the point.

I grew up scared of God and feeling like He was always disappointed with me and frustrated with me. I struggle with feeling this way to this very day.

I feel like I am on a life long mission to learn what it means to really understand that I AM God’s beloved.

I have been listening to this youtube video by Graham Cooke and it is SO good for me to hear.  I so desperately want this truth of how God feels about me to totally sink into my heart and not just be a head knowledge.  I would totally encourage you to take the time to listen to this video. It is about 8 minutes long.

Close your eyes.  Meditate on the words that he is saying. And the words that He is saying.  Let it soak in.

I believe that understanding our role as the Beloved of God’s will revolutionize our lives, if we can just really “get” it.  It will change the way we view ourselves.  It will change the way we view our relationships with others. And most importantly, it will change our view of God.

I had an experience about a month ago that almost feels too sacred to write about, but God really, really made His love real to me in a euphoric, uplifting, sacred, amazing way.  The feeling that I had when I had even just a glimpse of His radical love for me gave me a small taste of what I might be missing by not really grasping or understanding the way that He loves me.

STOP

I had started a category on my blog called “What We Wore” but I haven’t been posting much to that category lately.

When I was working on my blog the other day, I was reminded and inspired to post in that vein a little more often.

The “we” in “What We Wore” is Nikki and I.  At least generally.

My boys dress very boring.  Wind pants (or whatever the proper term is for those kind of pants) and a long sleeved t-shirt.  Every.single.day. I do not have any preppy boys in my family!

So, yesterday Nikki and I took a couple of pictures in front of the library.

She was really crabby but when I asked her if I could take her picture, after an initial grumpy “NO!” she brightened up and got all happy.  That girls loves clothes just like I do!

See…she ever smiled for the picture

These grey boots of her are so dang cute. I wish I had a pair for myself.

This outfit she wouldn’t wear for most of the school year, and then all of a sudden it became a favorite for some unknown reason. Now, it is in her weekly rotation and I think it is adorable!

Also, one of Nikki’s most recent drawings…

This is a chalk drawing she did at school.  I ♥ it!

This is a snowman, according to Nikki. With pink wings.

I don’t ask questions, I just listen to the explanation and say encouraging words.

 

And then there is my outfit from yesterday.

You want to hear a confession?  I am also wearing this outfit today.  I didn’t wear it ALL day yesterday (Ok, I wore it from about 9 to 7, but is that really ALL day??)  and the same people won’t see me today. Plus, I felt really good in this, so I thought “Why not?” 

Is that super weird or un-hygenic?

I know it looks like I am leaning really weird on this picture, but I am pretty sure it is the angle from which the pint-size photographer took the picture.

I bought this little tunic/dress at my friend Morgan’s store (The Scarlet Poppe) a week or so ago.

I just paired it with some basics.  Black leggings.  Black boots. Black belt.  Black long sleeved shirt.

And my grey socks. I like those!

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I have noticed lately that my default facial expression is a wrinkled brow and a sort of straight lipped look. As if I am trying to figure out all of the questions and complexities of life right.at.this.moment.  Which is exactly what I AM trying to do.

It is exhausting!

I spent some time yesterday texting with a friend and talking to God about why I cannot seem to learn to rest and feel peace. Why I have so much trouble shutting my mind off?

I don’t have a lot of answers, but I did feel like God gave me some guidance.  And a measure of peace.

You see, what “we wore” can be more than our clothing, for sure.  It can be the expression on our face, which probably makes more of an impact than our clothing anyway.  So I want to be aware of my expression and what it is portraying!

Some days, as a blogger, you tackle serious subjects.

And then other days, you write about earrings! 

Not that I am not passionate about earrings.  Don’t get me wrong. 

I have quite a collection!

Especially since I only got my ears pierced less than 5 years ago, at the ripe old age of 29 or 30.

Earrings are definitely my favorite type of jewelry.

Above necklaces or bracelets or rings.

I have this earrings holder (which I think I have shown on my blog before) that holds about 96 pairs of earrings.

By process of counting how many empty holes there are on the whole things, I have calculated that I own right about 75 pairs of earrings.

That number was even a bit shocking to me!

Rather than try to show you my whole collection (other than this picture), I thought I would just show you the last 5 pairs of earrings I have bought.  Probably all within the last 3 weeks or so.

I bought these at Maurice’s for a couple of dollars.  $2.99 I think.  The bottom part is actually clear, but it looks red because the background is red.

I found these at Old Navy over the weekend.  Again, $2.99.  That is one thing that I love about earrings. How cheap you can get them.  These are nice and thick/heavy too. They seem to be made pretty well.

I like these so well that I planned my whole outfit around them today.  Yes, sometimes I do that. Plan my outfit around my earrings.  Hey, its a place to start and this girl needs all the help she can get!

My only wish was that it was summer so that I could wear my red peep-toe high heels with this outfit.  That would have made me happy.

These were a splurge.  I had a $10 coupon for Maurice’s but you can only use it on a single item.  Since I generally buy things ON SALE there and they cost maybe $6 or $7 a piece, I decided to just pick out some jewelry that was $10 or more and get it free with my coupon.  I found these, which I love!  All of the little bars hang individually so they swing back and forth.

It really IS the small things in life, right?

 

These I bought at Spencer’s over the weekend.  They were having a deal where you buy one piece of jewelry and you get another one for a dollar!!  I bought Jeremy and cross necklace and then I had to pick something out for myself!  I really like these earrings, so it was totally worth the trip into that store!  (PS — Don’t think I don’t think you were all like “What was she doing in Spencer’s?” — Let me just say this…going into that store will bring out the prude in you.  There are too many things to try to avert your eyes from, all the while trying not to notice what OTHER people are looking at.) 

These I found at Goodwill when Derrick and I went away for the day.  Again, I think they were $2.99.

Does anyone notice a theme in the last 5 pairs of earrings I bought??

Bonus points for you if you notice it!

So there you have it…the update you have all been waiting for.  Ha, ha.

This is me.

This is my I-phone.

(well, this is a phone that looks a lot like my phone.  I have found that it is nearly impossible to take a picture of your phone WITH your phone!  Ha, ha!)

I have a love/hate relationship with my I-phone.

Historically, it has mostly been a love relationship.

Love the apps.  Love the voice to text feature. Love the internet access. Love how easy it is to use. Love playing Words with Friends. Love being accessible to my friends.

But recently I have been feeling like my phone is running my life.

Somewhere along the way, it seems like the power has shifted and now my phone controls me, not the other way around.

For instance, last Friday when I let Derrick play hooky from school and we went on our date, I told him that I will try not to be on my phone while we are together.

Next thing I know, I am texting a friend to let her know why I can’t return her call.

Then a friend texted me to ask if we could do coffee on short notice.  Well, I didn’t think it would be polite to wait to respond to that text. If it was me, I would want to know how to plan.

Later on, a friend that I text with regularly sent me a message.  Since I usually respond pretty quickly, I didn’t want her to start wondering why I didn’t write back more quickly.

Then another friend texted me to confirm dinner plans for the evening and decide where we were going to go.  That meant I needed to text Jeremy.  And on it went.

And soon Derrick was saying, in an accusing tone, “Mom! I thought you said you weren’t going to be on your phone!!”

I explained to him that I had to get back to some people, but still…

I DO love staying in touch with my friends. I love the ease of texting.  And I have to say, I appreciate when friends are quick to respond and you don’t have to wait for hours to get a reply.

But in an effort to unclutter my mind and feel more peaceful, I am wondering if I need to set up some boundaries for me and my I-phone.

I don’t know where to start. Or even if I want to.  When I think of only checking my phone on the hour, it makes me feel kind of panicky. 

Maybe I could check it when it alerts me to a text or a reminder, but if it isn’t urgent, I could wait to respond until later.

I don’t know.  It is just something I have been thinking about.

What is your relationship like with your phone?  Do you love your phone?  Do you hate it?  Do you feel like it important to be accessible to others?  Does the constant checking of your phone, responding to texts, checking your e-mail and playing games make your mind feel cluttered and distracted?  Or is it just part of life?

It is after 3 o’clock on Monday afternoon.

I haven’t figured out yet what I am making for dinner, other than buying some focaccia bread randomly a few hours ago.

I have bookwork to do and the kids will be home in less than an hour.

But sometimes, when you feel like writing, you just have to take the time to do it.  It feeds the soul!

Inspired by my friend Rachel, I thought I would do a “Miscellaneous Monday” post.

I am hoping that she subscribes to the philosophy that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Otherwise, she might be annoyed at my blantant copying of her idea. 

I did think it would be a bit over the top to call title my post “Miscellaneous Monday”, hence the name you see for this blog post!

 

This morning I went for coffee with a good friend. I ordered a decaf mocha (it was too bitter for my liking) and sat and chatted with her for about an hour. 

In the midst of our discussion, she told me how much she likes my blog.  I didn’t even know she read my blog. She went on to say some nice and encouraging things about my writing and I somewhat sheepishly admitted that I do have a dream to one day write a book.  She said “Well, maybe when the kids are older you will be able to take some time off and do that.”  I’ve thought the same thing.  But I also wonder if that is just excuse for me not to get started now.

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Have you ever noticed how certain phrases really become popular in the on-line world and pretty soon everybody (including me) is using them?  Even if they wouldn’t use them in real life?  It is actually kind of annoying and I am bothered by the fact that I participate.

For instance:

“hand raised”

“excited squeals” and it’s more active but quieter cousin “happy dance”

“love, love, love __________”

“hugs” and, I think you might get extra points if you use a “z” at the end instead of an “s”

“if I lived closer I would totally…”  (Really?  Are you SURE you would?)

“melt me”

“yay”

“I totally heart that”

Please choose not to be offended if your favorite line is included in these!

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Our basement is where I send the kids when they get too rowdy.  It is where they can leave things a mess and don’t have to clean up.  Unless someone is coming over.

The other week we were having company and I had the kids clean up the basement. Just in case. As our guests were about to leave for the evening Nikki said, loudly, and in front of them — “Why did we have to clean up the basement?? They didn’t even go DOWN there!!!” 

Thanks for that, Nicole Danielle.  Thankfully, our friends have a good sense of humor and got a big kick out of it.

Anyway, most of the time our basement looks like a Toy’s R Us and a Bed, Bath and Beyond mated and then had about 100 children and abandoned them to fend for themselves in our basement.

I could have taken more pictures, but you get the idea.  I think I have sufficiently proved my point!

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This morning at the coffee shop I bought a dollar’s worth of these little bits of awesomeness.

Dark chocolate covered sea salt caramels.

Seriously. So good!

I would totally share them with you if you “lived closer”.

Like in my own house.

Maybe.  Or maybe not.

At least that sounded generous.

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Lately I have been experiencing an irrational fear when I am lying in the tanning bed.

I have been tanning once a week for years.

But recently I have been afraid that I am going to be lying there and the bulbs are going to inexplicable burst and cut my body a 1,000 different places.

I picture a huge slice of glass cutting my throat and as I lie there naked and bleeding to death, no one will know.  Because the timer still says “7 minutes” to go.

I’m not sure how to get this idea out of my head.

I am also not sure if this ever happens, but I am afraid to Google it for fear it DOES happen and then I will have some proof that my fear actually could happen.

And then I might have to quit tanning.

And I am SO not ready for that.

There. You can feel better about yourself now.  I really AM the crazy one.

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Nikki’s latest drawing for me, which was presented to me yesterday.  It is “her blowing bubbles in the summertime.”  I love it.  She still draws people like that and I really don’t want to tell her to stop. I know she’ll figure it out soon enough.

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I don’t know if anyone remembers me talking about how my Mom has written my grandmother a letter every.single.week of the year for 23 years now! (Ever since we moved to WI from PA)

And how we all thought that my Grandma had throws some of the letter away. Because she said she had.

I so mourned the loss of those letters because I was planning get them back from my Grandma and read through them. They are such a snapshot of our lives!! I’m not even usually that sentimental, but about this, I was.

Anyway, last summer my Mom was cleaning my Grandma’s garage and she found a whole sack of the letters. Apparently, my Grandma was going to burn them and never quite got around to getting them out to the burn pile.

I was estactic.  In January, Mom and Dad were in Pennsylvania and Mom brought back this whole box of letters.  There must be over a thousand of them.  I started reading some yesterday and brought another stack home with me to read when I get a chance!

So fun!   

Among other things, I learned that milk was $2.09 (at the cheapest) in the winter of 1989.  Fascinating, not?

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On Saturday the kids and I worked on their Valentine’s.  I know I am early, but I was freaking out about when we would get them done.  Between Kendall’s birthday party and Jeremy and I going away for the weekend, I knew Valentine’s was totally going to sneak up on me.

And since I really enjoy doing that kind of thing with them, we decided to get it done early.

This is for Derrick’s classmates.

Kendall’s

Nikki’s

We got most of them done and now I can breathe easier about that. Because buying storebought ones the day before wasn’t going to work for me.  For some things, I would totally do that.

But I think I get into making Valentine’s more than the kids do.

(All ideas courtesy of Pinterest.  Like, duh.)

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Saturday evening Jeremy and the kids were all sitting around watching “America’s Funniest Home Videos” while I was spending some time alone in the other room. (Read:  long day at home and Mom said to Dad “I need some time by myself!”

It was so cool to hear them laughing together.

Finally, I came out and took a picture. 

This picture makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

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That was also the same night that I made the family some peach milkshakes. 

And when one got spilled on the table, this is what happened next.

I am not sure who raised these boys to be this unmannerly, but I am NOT taking responsibility for this behavior!

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This is the door to Nikki’s room. 

 

A list of who may come in.

A picture of her aunt and uncle.

A Sponge Bob sticker.

A February calendar.

And a ground-hog puppet.

Did I mention that the door to her room is right off of our dining room?

So yes, she adds a touch of “class” to my dining room decor.

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Since this seems to be the post of inspiration by others, I will also mention my friend Amber. 

She writes a wonderful blog and back in November she wrote a post about how she let the kids skip school one day.  You can read it here.  Very interesting.

She inspired me to do something with my children that I have never done before.  I decided that I would, through out the rest of the school year, pick one day where I would let each of them (individually) play hooky from school and they would just have a fun day with Mom.

Totally centered about them.

I decided Derrick would be first because he is most likely to keep a secret so that I am able to surprise the other children in the same way later in the year.

I communicate with his teacher beforehand, and then at 9 o’clock on Friday I showed up at his school and had him called up to the front office.

Just the look on his face was totally worth it!!

Once we got in the van, I explained that, yes, he was skipping school for the rest of the day and he and I were just going to hang out!

He was so happy.  Except that he did inform me that they had gym that day, which is his all time fav!

But, he hastened to add “This is more fun!”

This is apparently the face that Derrick now makes when he knows I am taking a picture.

Let me just tell you. He looks much more handsome when he is NOT making this particular face.

But I guess this will have to do until he figures that out.

We went bowling.  He almost beat me.  But not quite. Just for the record, I am not one of those Mom’s who feels sorry for her kid and lets them win.  They aren’t the only ones who want to win!!

Plus, it teaches them something valuable.

Like how to keep Mama happy. (Just kidding about that part! Ha, ha!)

Lunch was at Applebees.

This is Derrick famous line whenever I ask where he wants to go to eat

“Just give me any restaurant that serves a cheeseburger and I will be fine!”

So a bacon cheddar cheeseburger it was.

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And I will leave you with this parting shot.

Kendall can do things with his body that should be earning him some kind of awards. Somewhere.

He was seriously just laying on the floor like this.

Relaxing.  (He did add the “thumbs up” when he knew I was taking a picture.)

If I tried this, I would probably be crying. 

He can also use his foot as a pretend telephone and scratch his head with his foot. 

That boy is “bendy!” 

Be impressed. Be very impressed!

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Happy Monday to you! 

Monday is always my worst day of the week.  Now that it is almost over, the rest is all downhill!

Yay!

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