February 29, 2012
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Three Thoughts
In the jumble that is my mind (see yesterday’s post…I am still recovering from my wonderful 5-day trip) I have been noticing that I keep on rolling around and sorting out three different things.
The first is this:
Whenever I have gotten back from a girl’s weekend, I feel SO refreshed and ready to do whatever it is that I need to do in my every day life. I have this feeling of “I love my family so much” and I feel super relaxed. Like I will never stress about anything again. The work that needs to be done is in the background and it feels like I am re-focused on the fact that relationships really ARE the most important things in life.
This is what I have been mulling over…How can I keep that feeling alive for more than 24 hours after I get back? When you are a Mom, there are so very many “chores” that need to be done. There is a lot of routine and a lot of responsibility. How can I not find myself, by a day later, feeling like I am just back to the grind? Here I am again, preparing dinner, dealing with homework and kids fighting, folding that mountain of laundry, emptying the trash, loading the dishwasher, and just taking care of the million and one things that need to be done.
I want to learn how to cut everything out of my life that is not making me feel relaxed and full of happiness, but not live in a crazy, unpredicable world where my house is a wreck and my kids never get bathed.
I have very little, if any, clarity on this.
The second is this:
Perception is everything. Years ago, my Dad told me this quote and it is one of the two quotes that I know that I think about SO often. Because it is so true.
Two people can be in the same situation, see the same things, hear the same words, but because of their life experiences up to that point and the filter through which they run everything that they see and hear, they can come out at two very different places and with two very different interpretations of the same situation or conversation. I saw that happen different times this weekend. It fascinates me and interests me and also makes to want to work on my perceptions and make sure that the filter through which I am running things is firmly grounded in truth.
Also, when we have been hurt by someone or there is something unhealed in a particular relationship, we will tend to view everything that person does through a curtain of distrust or uncertainty or suspicion. I see that in myself. Whether in conversing with others about situations in my life or just the way that I relate to people in a group or to my friends.
It can kind of be summed up with this “pin” (which I think is freakin’ hilarious, by the way)
And the third one:
The idea that our strengths and weaknesses lie side by side. This is the other quote my Dad taught me as a teenager that really stuck with me. I have probably repeated it more than a 1,000 times since then. (I guess I kind of love good quotes, don’t I?)
But when you meet and are around lots of other women and you get into many, many great discussions, you realize how different we all are, yet how much we all struggle and are trying to find our way.
So maybe I don’t forget to mail my Christmas cards out or send that birthday present to a friend, but do I take the time to be spontaneous when I should be? Do I stop to read a book to my child when the moment presents itself or am I willing to scrap my plan for the day because my husband wants to do something different?
Maybe I talk a lot and make new friends easily, but I have a lot to learn about being a good listener!
I might have strengths as a leader, but do I push other people around in the process?
The bottom line, for me, is this. None of us should despise who we are and how God made us. What might be a struggle for you is easy for me, but maybe something you are talented and gifted in, I have no idea how to make happen.
If you are able to keep that perspective, it is so encouraging and enlightening and just plain fun to be around other women who are inspiring and different and awesome!
And that is my attempt to write down some of what is going on in my head today.
We have a snow day! The first of the year. So the day is relaxed and fun and easy. I have Wild Rice soup in the crockpot, which, although it sounds and smells awesome, will probably NOT be a hit with my family. I should clean my basement, but I am SO not in the mood. (See, I AM learning to roll with it more and avoid work that needs to be done!)
Comments (16)
I’m with you! And I just LOVE that pin. It cracks me right up.
I think part of keeping that feeling going is remembering all those other women who are doing it too, probably at the same time i am. You know? I’m not doing this laundry alone, somewhere out there, Audrey is doing laundry too.
I have very little, if any, clarity on this.
i know, this isn’t funny. but it is. because it is SO YOU!
and this is one of those times when i will be mulling over what you wrote, but i just am not sure what to comment right now. just so you know..”i totally get this.”
This might seem awful, but recently I met someone who has just as many scars as I do (ya know, the acne scars on the temple, AND a lip scar) and she was delightful and not a bit ugly. I felt better knowing that I could look past her “imperfections” and get into her personable way of being. AND, it was easy to like her because I’d just met her and she’d never had the opportunity to hurt me. That being typed, the little poster is almost exactly how I feel about one particular person who HAS hurt me and DOES go around like she owns the place. Whenever I update my hubby about this gal’s obnoxiousness, I ALWAYS say that she goes/does like she OWNS the place. Oy, that is SO not Jesus, is it? ( 8 I do know she’s had her struggles and grief, yet in my mind, I don’t allow her to be a lovable human. As for your weekend away, and coming home hoping to extend that great feeling while getting back into the normal every moment grind….the last time I got to experience that was last summer. I don’t get out much, but Girly, when I do, I never want to come home! Home is where the stress is, that’s for sure. But, for me, it’s where Jesus really loves to show me the ugly and prove to me that his strength and love and patience are all right here, bigger than I give him credit for sometimes! I love your writing. (I’m sure I’ve told you that, but here it is again). LOVE your writing, your heart, your humor.
In truth, you should not clean the basement unless you are in the mood. Mark that down as another rule to live by.
I live by it, at least most of the time. Enjoyed your post.
Such an interesting quote that second one is. I never thought about things that way but it’s sorta true! I love a good quote too though I never can remember them
This has me really mulling things over in my mind and while I can’t write it out…yet…I could probably discuss it. Weird I know. I keep thinking of things I could type out here and none of it is sensible. Maybe I will post on it or maybe I will just let it dissolve in my mind.
@Richgem - I think you wrote the finishing paragraph on this for me. Suppose its what we open our hearts to that lets us be at peace with one new person in our life while not one thats been there awhile and we have no reason not to trust her?! YOu have some super good thoughts there girl!
My brain feels like it’s in a whirl ever since the weekend, and I keep smiling and thinking about how fun it was, but putting two words together just comes hard for me ever since then!! So, all that to say, I liked this post. A lot. The perception thing is SO TRUE. I wince as I read that because if people have hurt me in the past I tend to look at them through a certain grid, and just think every thing they do comes from bad motives, which is not always the case!! And the strengths/weaknesses… so very true too.
I would have loved for much more time to sit and just have long conversations with you and so many more of the women this past weekend. So much of it felt introductory for me because I hadn’t met a lot of people before, but I keep thinking of all the things I wanted to talk about with people and then hearing about little snippets of things I missed out on!
Guess that’s more than two words up there. ^^
i always like to come here and read the thoughts going thru your head.
even if i have little to say in response….
@lifeisadance - Absolutely loved what you wrote here. I can very much relate. I feel the need to get out what I am feeling, but am not able to, which is frustrating to me. Even when I am trying to explain about the weekend, I find myself doing a lot of stuttering, which is not normal for me! And you are one person who I would have LOVED to get to spend more time with. Somehow it felt like our paths didn’t cross much, and I have a feeling that if we could have gotten into a deeper discussion, we would have loved it!
@foreveranoatneygirl_n2Hisown - Thanks for that!! I would have loved a good, long deep talk with you this past weekend and feel sad that it didn’t happen.
@appalolly - i feel the same way. there’s something about you…that makes me want to talk heart to heart. not mush or gush, but sincere and gut honest. you have that sort of aura about you and it intrigues me.
You are just smashing in nails here. For real. I have been thinking more and more about that perception thing … of how we perceive exactly the same situation so differently based on our past. If only it were equally easy to think outside of our filters. But as you mentioned, we can hold it up to truth.
How to get the “good feeling” to last? Do fun things more often.
I said, “So true!” after each point. btw, one thing that stood out to me this weekend is that though you are a big talker you are sure to give others a chance to talk as well.
three thoughts from me…
first, if this was last march. i would be counting down the days till your arrival in the area! was that a year ago already? i could so do all that again. :)
second, funny thing is. i have had thee same exact pin in my head alot recently. not feeling dislike or taking up an offense…so help me God. but recognizing what has been chosen as a lens through which to view me…how it distorts. and the set up that is for the deceiver to extend his claws. we as humans we will rationalize and justify anything to “make it fit.”
and thirdly, *my heart would pound as a kid in church when i’d hear those words. woohoo. the preacher was finally making his last and final point.
* i agree with christy ^^^. you enjoy talking. i know that. but i see you enjoying and encouraging the exchange in conversation. you DO listen. that’s what i think of when i think of you!!!
your dad was a smart man.
that quote is great. too true.
and somewhere, we share the same dna… i’m just sure of it.
i always feel i so get what you’re saying.
this post totally made me sit up and listen…but then again i always enjoy and get something out of your posts. first of all, sounds like for everyone involved FFE was a fabulous time of learning and growing together, and i’m sure it was hard for each one of you to return home after such awesome time with such beautiful woman you share a heart connection with (and perhaps some soul dna) to return to ‘real life’. i pray that you will be able to find more moments to take in those things that you say as needing to be reveled in.
perception is a big thing. and in my life, so are expectations. how i see something and how someone else sees it is entirely refelctive of our experiences in life. what i want out of a day and what someone else has planned might be entirely different…these are both good reminders that for me its not all about me, though so often i seem to get to that place in my head.