December 15, 2011

  • Honestly...

    I definitely go through periods of time where I feel more or less of a need to write.  Hence, the inconsistancy of my blogging.

    Sometimes I feel like writing about everything, and then other times every subject I think of to write about seems really boring and I feel like what I would have to say would not be that interesting to anyone else.

    So the "pen" stays silent.

    But, today I am giving it a shot. So here goes...

     

    The other day I was reading a post by Amber at grace2be. (Who, by the way, is one of my favorite  bloggers. If you haven't read her site, you should check it out!)  It was the story about how she had to crawl under the shelves at Wal-Mart to look for her daughter's pacifier.

    I thought that the story was hilarious and I could totally picture it happening, so I was leaving her a comment to that effect. 

    I was starting to write "You gave me a good laugh for the day" but I realized that it wasn't quite true because I hadn't actually laughed (out loud) about what she had written, even though inside I was finding it to be very funny.

    Now, let me give you a little background on my issues with accuracy and honesty.

    From the time I was a teenager, I have been super conscientious about telling the truth.  I guess my Dad really taught us that.  Plus, I had lied twice in my early years (younger than 10 years old) and it bothered me and bothered me and bothered me.  (I later confessed those lies to my parents.) 

    I remember especially in my teens having a lot of angst about whether I got the details of a story correct or not. I would feel guilty if I said that I arrived somewhere at 10:00 AM when it was actually 9:58 AM. 

    If I quoted someone and didn't get it exactly right, I would feel guilty.

    And the list of examples could go on and on. 

    I struggled with this a lot, internally, during my teen years and finally someone (I have no idea who, or if I read it or what) presented me with the concept that if you are not intending to deceive, then it is not a lie.

    For instance, in the "wrong time" scenario, if I was not trying to, say, change the time in my story to escape being late for curfew or something, and it was just a matter of not remembering EXACTLY when I got there, then I could have a clear conscience.

    This cleared up a lot of things for me and was extremely helpful with my sensitive conscience in this area.

    It was funny, because in some other areas, like obeying church rules about listening to the radio or wearing a "cape dress",  I was not quite so sensitive.

    But, even into my adulthood, I have carried this trait of being very careful with the truth.  I always try to present things as accurately as I can, even to the extent of really over-explaining myself at times so as not to mis-represent something.

    I also have been quite critical of Jeremy in the past because of the difference between HIS truth and MY truth when relating an incident.  After a while, I realized that maybe his stories were pretty accurate, but my tendency to under-state things made his representation seem like more of an exaggeration than they were.  Plus, the way he told his stories wasn't really MY problem, I realized.

    I still struggle sometimes with "Should I go back and correct that fact with someone?" because later it came to my attention that I had been wrong about a detail.

    I think through every comment I leave, message I send, text I write, etc. for accuracy of the message I am conveying.  Is this really true??  When I give a compliment, it is sincere, because if I don't actually feel it, I won't say it.  (Even as I write this paragraph, I analyze...Is it true to say that I think through "EVERY" comment I leave and I agonize over whether that is an accurate statement. And then I think, "Audrey, just chill, girl!" and I leave it as is.)

    I realized, when I was commenting on Amber's blog the other day, that even though I have made a lot of progress in this area over the years, clearly I still have a ways to go.  Because when I wrote "you gave me a good laugh" in my comment, but then realized that wasn't EXACTLY true because I hadn't laughed out loud about what she had written...and I couldn't think of another good way to word what I wanted to say, I just stopped for a few seconds and made myself laugh out loud because then what I wrote would be true.

    Legalistic, much? 

    I realized how silly that was. And then I wondered if anyone else could relate?  Or do you just think, like my friend Liz says, that I am "7 kinds of crazy"!

Comments (16)

  • This made me... um... smile inside I so do those things! I'm always being hyper sensitive to whether I'm "telling the truth" or not too.

  • okay. first off. i love you.

    second off. THIS just made me laugh...
    and since your post kinda convicted me on accuracy, i have to tell ya - it wasn't one of those loud explosive laughs but more like a gentle snort through the nose kind!!! ;)

    i think in our marriage shayne is you and i am jeremy. :)
    funny how every marriage has one and the other eh?

  • ps. you're one of my favorite bloggers too! :)

  • I know what you mean. I tend to do the same thing. I do not like when people don't tell the truth.
    However, I tend to exaggerate.....but in a way that people know. Like..my new coat cost $1 million dollars. ;)

    Audrey...you are so cute. =)
    Happy Thursday.

  • I can totally relate to you on this topic! Specially on the whole time thing. If I woke up at 7:37, I feel a bit guilty saying 7:30! That's when I tell myself to chill out as well, haha! When I was younger, I did have some issues with lying and I think that's why now as an adult I'm so careful. 

    I really enjoy your blog! Blessings! Beth  

  • I can definitely relate with you and being honest and have even done the same kind of thing with writing about laughing out loud about a blog post.  Growing up, it seems like I lied a lot though looking back on it now most of those things probably weren't big things. Though as I grew older as a teen, I got better at talking my way around the lie with the way I worded things (stretching the truth) or avoided answering things.  And Yes, I'd go back many times and make it right as well even for crazy little things. 

  • Oh, yeah. I can relate. You are not alone in this one. Seven kinds of crazy, eh? (That's better than eight, right?) Maybe I'm in the seven kinds of crazy boat, too. I find myself correcting Noah when I feel he is exaggerating, and it annoys him. I wonder why?? ;) So now I am trying to work on that. It's just that I want to be as accurate as possible. What is so hard to get about that?

  • The mental image of you sitting there laughing after the fact just so you could truthfully write that you had a good laugh- that is just too funny. I didn't LOL, though.   It was exactly the kind of snort Amber described above

  • Definitely the best part of this post was you making yourself laugh at Amber's post.    Honest people are hard to come by these days.  I like them very, very much.  I've never been overly sensitive about issues like exact time and stuff, but I had a sister who was very much that way.  I want to be a totally trustworthy and honest person in what I say,  but sometimes struggle because maybe I felt something at the the time I said it, but changed rather quickly (as I am prone to do) and then later I wonder if I need to go back and clarify.  And then that whole mess of making things right can create an even bigger mess.  I don't know if I'm making myself clear or not. One thing I don't like is to hear people say:  "Well, to be completely honest....."  I feel like saying, "And you weren't being honest up to this point?"    I enjoyed your post.  Honestly.

  • i so get this! i knew quite a few people growing up like this. and btw, i don`t think it`s weird at all. i just wonder where it comes from? i have an aunt that suffers from the need to tell the "perfect truth" that she literally cannot function in life. i mean literally. it is really bizarre to watch sometimes. this sounds like a GREAT real life discussion piece. i love discussions on stuff like this!

  • btw, my husband has the same frustrations with me as you do with jeremy. i get so mad at him because he is constantly ribbing me for my inaccuracies. (when i think i was just being descriptive!) 

  • I get this.  I have finally relaxed enough in the last few months to write LOL even if I didn't but it was LOL worthy. :)  But for the longest times I wondered how it looked in all these people's houses as they sat at the computer and randomly laughed out loud. :)  

    @quiet_hearts - and well, to be completely honest ;)  I think it would help if some people WOULD be more completely honest. ;)  Then they wouldn't have to say that.  Or we wouldn't be left guessing what they really mean.

  • I completely get what you're saying. Er, um, writing. I have come to determine that just as you mentioned, it's a matter or heart and motive. I too, can be a bit paranoid about missing some detail or misquoting someone. I've made a habit of if I'm not repeating something verbatim, I preface my comment with,"this may not be exactly what she said, but the gist of it was....." yadyada. I dont know. It helps me a little. I think there are times you just have to tell your mind to be quiet. We could mull over things constantly. We don't want to be "navel gazers"! LOL Always looking inwardly, analyzing every thing we do or say.  And with Amber's post, even though maybe you didn't outwardly laugh, you probably had a heart laugh! I know I did. I dont think I cracked a smile when I read that post, but my heart smiled when I pictures her on the floor at Walmart!

    Anyhoo....I hear ya! And I k ow what you mean about phases of writing. It comes and goes for me too. Have a great weekend!

  • I love how well you can explain yourself in writing..... wish I had that in me

    AND by the end of your post I found my self having a silent giggle, sometimes I do Laugh out loud and my children come running "what mom, WHAT" so I try to be less loud :O)

    I HATE lies, and I felt almost like I wrote what you did, (only I can't write) My mom hated lies so we were taught right, we could teaseand joke, and sometimes I feel like that is just a goofy way of telling a lie?! But I like it straight and honest too! Great post!

  • you know...it may be why i use -ish at the end of words. i like details. hate lying. and they allow me to communicate something without being ridiculous and rethinking it later. and as far as what you mentioned about over explaining...i'm sure that you know i can't *cough* (i'm not really coughing) relate to that. ha.

  • Here's another person who can relate to what you said...notice I didn't say totally relate to what you said bacause that might have been slightly inaccurate.  I too, had someone explain to me when I was younger about it not being a lie if you didn't mean to be inaccurate, that was so freeing! Loved the part about you laughing out loud so that you could truthfully write it!!!

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