January 29, 2013
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Watching TV = Quality Time ??
Sunday was just one of those days.
It started out great and all, but by mid afternoon when the husband was taking a nap and the kids were grouchy from getting to bed too late the night before, things had taken a downhill turn.
Jeremy had plans to be gone all evening and I was home with the kiddos.
Do you ever have those days when you are just fairly sick of your kids? Your patience is just wearing quite thin? You feel the beginnings of a small nervous breakdown?
Like, what you really want is an empty house and a bubble bath and a glass of wine. Not three kids who are bouncing off the walls and bugging each other and asking if they “couldn’t just have another snack.”
You can try to change your attitude. You can pray. You can give a shot at playing games with them or reading to them, both of which may not end well.
(Picture this: poor sports when they didn’t win the game and Mom eventually saying “I’m not playing with you guys if you can’t act decent” and fighting over who gets to hold the book, etc.)
Or, you can say…to heck with it…and turn on the TV and make some popcorn.
And all will be well. Sanity will reign.
I have long felt like TV is a poor substitute for, well, pretty much anything.
Whether we are talking adults or children, TV watching is not high on my list of things that people should be spending their time doing.
Not to say I haven’t used the TV as a babysitter at times throughout the years. Especially when my kids were little and I had bookwork I needed to get done! But I have always felt guilty about it.
I know it is not completely consistant because I would rather be working on something and the children playing something (separately) than having all of us sitting down and watching TV together.
To me…TV watching together does not equal quality time. I know lots of people who do look at it that way. The whole family sitting down. Spending time together.
But in my mind, there is virtually no interacting happening. Really, you’re spending quality time with the TV and people happen to be sitting beside you.
Even with Jeremy and I…we watch a show together because we want to see it…not because it brings some sort of connection to us.
Somehow, I feel like a wimp when I take the easy route of “Hey, you guys wanna watch TV with me” instead of doing something more interactive with the kids.
But maybe, instead of being a wimp, I’m just stupid.
Either way, Sunday night was one of those times that I felt the occassion called for it.
So I made a huge batch of popcorn and we sat around watching “Penguins of Madagascar” and shoving handfuls of popcorn into our mouths.
Like I told Jeremy later, “I figured that option would be the best for the kids and for me.”
Sometimes, being a Mom is about knowing when you’ve had enough and making choices accordingly.
And I like to think that’s OK.
Comments (13)
So when you watch t.v. do you talk too? Or is it quiet while the show is on? Because no one is quiet while the show is on at our house. Steven and I watch t.v. together and we talk through the whole thing. We talk about what we’re watching, not other stuff unless we get bored then we don’t talk about the show. LOL
Just last night we watched the second episode of that new show The Following together and spent a good portion of time talking about how we hoped the FBI agents were going to get more intelligent or we’d have to quit watching.
It used to annoy me that everyone talked through the show but now I’m used to it. lol
@aSeriesofFortunateEvents - No, Beth, I cannot handle people talking while I am trying to watch something. There may be little comments here and there…and laughter. But if it is a show that I need to actually follow (Say, an episode of “Revenge”), I don’t want to miss a word!!! I’m like “What if I miss is the pivotal thing I needed to know??” Guess I’m a little too uptight about it!
I remember those days of giving in and turning on the TV because I needed to be able to cook dinner or simply think. Now, there are no kids at home, so hubby and I watch TV together if there’s nothing else to do. We watch a lot of cooking shows and History and Home Improvement and we discuss what we’re watching. Sometimes, that leads to us going into the kitchen to create things to eat and or he’ll stare at something in the house and think aloud about what could be done better.
@appalolly - I used to be that way too! I still am like that during a movie. At least t.v. shows have commercial breaks for talking. I will say that we time our talking in between those pivotal parts now. Last night I was covering my eyes saying, “something’s about to happen right now!” And, I don’t like it if people are talking about OTHER stuff during this show. You have to be talking about THIS show.
i think watching a movie/show together can be quality time if everyone is enjoying it. i do NOT think it should be the primary way of interacting with each other, but it’s kind of bonding when we all sit and watch something together (providing the kids sit still- i can’t deal with them jumping all over us) at the end of the evening when we’re tired, but it’s not quite bedtime. the kids love it. so yes, it’s okay. you did good
thanks for reassuring me it’s okay.
and glad to know i’m not the only one that just wants to have the house quiet and take a bath and drink a glass of wine. there are days my kids drive me nuts and i want to feel the freedom to say that to other moms w/ out feeling i have to quickly add, “oh, but i know i’ll miss these days?” nope. not so sure i will. atleast not THOSE days!
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I agree totally with you. To me it’s better to have a happy mom and watch tv with her than an angry yelling mom while doing something ‘productive’
I just read an article in one of these Parade like little things that said that it’s better to have smoke then to watch t.v. cause cig. take 10yrs off your life and tv watching takes more then 10yrs. lol I never read that before.
Well, my hubby thinks he has comment on whatever is on the t.v. he gets mad at it and argues with it. I turn off the music and tv noise anytime I can. Like as soon as he walks out of the room.
When I grew up in southern Ca. and we had the hot Santa Ana winds and no a/c in the 1950-the nun would read a mystery to us -whatever book she was reading and each day after recess we would get settled down and say,”go, sister.” we loved it even though we were in 5th grade and could read quietly to ourselves.I can still hear her voice in my head.
I loved reading your article. Quite a very fine analyze of that everyday phempnomenon … tv-wachting. You should write a columns in a magazine. Sometimes one has the feeling, tv replaced the ancient campfire, were everyone sat down in the evening. Some did talk much, others just relaxed. Here, kids use the tv to play “Wii”. In the evening, everyone is “on”, and the class is together again on skype. Cheers, Michel
interesting stuff! im not sure that this a good truth…but around here movie watching tends to be quality time.
Our planned movie nights often have an activity that goes with them. Special snacks, sometimes an activity. We are a busy family, always running around and so I think for us it is a good quality time to just relax and be together. Laughing, snuggling, sharing a story. We always look 4ward to our movie nights.
That’s a great position you folks have been carrying out there.
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It started out great and all, but by mid afternoon when the husband was taking a nap and the kids were grouchy from getting to bed too late the night before, things had taken a downhill turn geo tv live