February 8, 2013
-
My Love/Hate Relationship
This is me.
This is my I-phone.
(well, this is a phone that looks a lot like my phone. I have found that it is nearly impossible to take a picture of your phone WITH your phone! Ha, ha!)
I have a love/hate relationship with my I-phone.
Historically, it has mostly been a love relationship.
Love the apps. Love the voice to text feature. Love the internet access. Love how easy it is to use. Love playing Words with Friends. Love being accessible to my friends.
But recently I have been feeling like my phone is running my life.
Somewhere along the way, it seems like the power has shifted and now my phone controls me, not the other way around.
For instance, last Friday when I let Derrick play hooky from school and we went on our date, I told him that I will try not to be on my phone while we are together.
Next thing I know, I am texting a friend to let her know why I can’t return her call.
Then a friend texted me to ask if we could do coffee on short notice. Well, I didn’t think it would be polite to wait to respond to that text. If it was me, I would want to know how to plan.
Later on, a friend that I text with regularly sent me a message. Since I usually respond pretty quickly, I didn’t want her to start wondering why I didn’t write back more quickly.
Then another friend texted me to confirm dinner plans for the evening and decide where we were going to go. That meant I needed to text Jeremy. And on it went.
And soon Derrick was saying, in an accusing tone, “Mom! I thought you said you weren’t going to be on your phone!!”
I explained to him that I had to get back to some people, but still…
I DO love staying in touch with my friends. I love the ease of texting. And I have to say, I appreciate when friends are quick to respond and you don’t have to wait for hours to get a reply.
But in an effort to unclutter my mind and feel more peaceful, I am wondering if I need to set up some boundaries for me and my I-phone.
I don’t know where to start. Or even if I want to. When I think of only checking my phone on the hour, it makes me feel kind of panicky.
Maybe I could check it when it alerts me to a text or a reminder, but if it isn’t urgent, I could wait to respond until later.
I don’t know. It is just something I have been thinking about.
What is your relationship like with your phone? Do you love your phone? Do you hate it? Do you feel like it important to be accessible to others? Does the constant checking of your phone, responding to texts, checking your e-mail and playing games make your mind feel cluttered and distracted? Or is it just part of life?
Comments (14)
I love mine, and I can’t leave it alone for very long b/c I’m on call pretty much 24/7 for work. I can, however, leave it in the next room and go do something without it. Or put it on silent (without vibrate) when I’m with someone and then just check it at the end. This is totally dumb but maybe you’ll be like me and it will work for you. I’m always pleasantly surprised at any FB notifications or messages waiting for me after I do that. It’s like, I can quit worrying about it b/c I know I’ll get this jolt when I see what I missed. That doesn’t even sound right but hopefully you’ll know what I mean.
My wife and family almost demanded that I get an I-Phone as opposed to the Samsung Galaxy Note-2. I sort of like it, but hardly anyone calls me. lol I did want it simply because I avoid anything social on the phone or internet, in that you and I are opposites.I do like the phone, but my old Samsung is easier to use for photos, so I use it. My kids like Face time of course. My wife loves Text Messaging when she travels—mostly wants to be sure I am not out when it is dark.I think you are busy in a wonderful way. I am envious.frank
i like my iphone. but, in general, i have a love/hate relationship with most of the technology that can so easily ‘run’ our lives. i use my phone for texting and calls, but even those are limited. i took fb off of my phone because i was sick of the convenience and ease of being able to check it if i wanted and the updates that really were not that important for me to get righthisverysecond. i’m probably ‘out there’ in my stance on this, but in a lot of ways i feel like technology and the internet are going to be a large part of our downfall as society and just in general…. spiritually, mentally and emotionally. i also think that we are losing out on so many things by having embraced the convenience of instant everything. i like my phone, i use my apps, definitely. but, in all honesty? i could turn it in tomorrow and not be any worse for it. and, now, because i’ve spent enough time online for this day,;) i’m off to do my housework.happy weekend Audrey!(p.s…..i ‘m glad you’re back posting more often!)
I really think that technology and phones in particular have changed our society for the worse. Just think for a while about life before all these smart phones came out. We’d spend whole days at work without our home phone. Were people so concerned about what their friends were doing every second that they had to check constantly? How many bad things really happened? How many times were you really, truly inconvenienced beyond repair by a last minute call for cookies or whatever? Seriously, almost never. It’s not the phones; it’s people who have changed their attitudes.Talk to your friends about your concerns. Tell them you will be checking your phone less often so that you can focus on other aspects of your life. Chances are pretty good that some of them share those concerns and will be just as relieved as you will be to not spend every day glued to the phone. Talk to your family and set some rules about phone use, including respect for others while using the phone.Dare to be different and set a new trend. Life was good before technology and is still good with it, but we have to set the limits. It is totally not necessary to answer the phone every single time it rings, jingles or bleeps at us!
Technology affords us so much convenience but can be a burden too. I likely have an old-school mentality (but maybe I’m not alone, as evidenced in the comment above?!)… it really bugs me when I am with people and they are using their phone for texting, checking FB, whatever. It is partly why I have resisted getting a smart phone. My old flip phone serves me well and I can still text if I need to. (And I do have an iPad which my geek son gifted me with.) I originally got texting because it was about the only way to reach my adult sons at times! Believe me, texting on my phone is more laborious than on a smart phone, but that keeps me from using it quite so much.
Keep thinking on it, you received some good counsel up there. ^^^
pretend it was derrick with the phone….you went and took him out of school to spend quality time with him and asked him to not spend time on the phone while you were together. and then he proceeded to do what you did. that would hurt you. carefully think about your priorities. and what you want to remember ten years from now. promise,your friend will NOT remember you didn’t respond to her message as soon as you usually do, or your friend will not still be resenting that time she texted you for an impromptu coffee date and you didn’t respond so there was no coffee date. BUT you may have regrets if you aren’t true to your priories.love you.
what i really got from this post was – you look really pretty in green!!!
) and the fact that you such a relational person.love that about you.and yes. i too have a love/hate for all technology. i love it. then feel guilty for the time i spend on it. lisa’s words were convicting. if only i could live w/ that future perspective always in front of me.
I hear ya! Love/Hate relationship.Jeff and I were talking about really, really limiting technology in our house.We have set up some rules and will be testing them out starting March 1. I’m a little nervous…isn’t that terrible? nervous about having time limits for technology!?!?LOVED Lisa’s comment. As Amber said…very convicting. Ouch!Happy Weekend Audrey. =)
i have wanted an iphone at times, for the very reasons that you love it. and would hate it for the same things. i know that without having it. it would be just one more thing for me to trip over how my life is matching my lips with my kids. i.e. how i want them to handle phones/texting/media/technology and how i do it.being accessible is one thing. being instantly accessible to many is another. that would clutter and distract me for sure in a negative way. particularly if the expectations of others are for immediate responses. and while you can’t change theirs, i know. duh. sorry.
you can look at yours. and if necessary consider starting a new pattern. wondering… what is HE saying? you’ll know. have a great weekend!
I have no emotional attachment to my android. Don’t love it, don’t hate it, it’s more in the toothbrush category to me—something useful but not exciting.
I understand. For awhile I felt like my phone was running my life and I was constantly checking it so I put it on silent so that made me ‘forget’ about it and then only checked it when I was honestly free. Lately I’ve found that kids growing up now days don’t get that quality one on one time like I grew up with since the phone is always in the picture. It’s definitely a different age though I LOVE my phone and how handy it is! It used to be the kids being kept busy with video games and now it’s the parents who are busy with their phone
When you said that about uncluttering your mind, that rang a bell in mine, because YEAH, thats what if feels to me clutter. Its my personality, but what I hate about phones is the fact that everybody is entitled to get a hold of you, right this instance, and get annoyed when you don’t get back to them pronto.So I am one of those very annoying people that doesnt get my messages for two days, and forgets to get back to people. But I do find myself fiddling/checking stuff with my phone when I am in a room full of friends/family and thats just stupid. I’ve somehow lost the ability to be in the moment with people that are important to me. So that means…yeah, I hear ya!
I’m really curious what you’re thinking about this by now. I don’t have an iphone, but I did w/o internet for four months and was only able to text on my phone by walking out of the house and my land line didn’t work right and it was shared so I feel at least a little bit qualified to discuss going w/o technology. I hated it. Seriously, I felt as though I had no connection to people and it was definitely not the kind of life I want to embrace. Snail mail is awesome, but it’s super inconvenient. But, I do have to say I spent pretty much 0 time on the computer. The only reason I was there was to work on pictures. And I found that I was more present with my kids. The wierdest thing was, I missed both blogging and fb like crazy … but when I got them back after we moved again, they didn’t look half so great. Now I’m sucked back into fb and I’m kind of thinking about taking a break. So much of the stuff I keep up with is really not true connection. It’s just busy odds and ends that, like you said, clutter your brain. But I love the messaging part so I can’t quite deactivate my account. Why is that so much easier than email??? Anyhow, I love what Rachel and Lisa said. Technology is doing a lot of things to our society (and us) that are not at all healthy.
Now this is in actual fact cooperative. It’s very openhanded of you to share this with us.Get more info about E-2Door