November 6, 2012

• RWOTD {Attention}

  The famous Ann V. says, in her apparently un-edited book, (inside joke. Lisa!!) that “the only way to slow  the current of time is to weigh it down with our FULL attention.”

  I honestly have no idea how to make this happen.

  I try. By times. I read in the book called “The Mindful Woman” that every so often throughout your day you should stop and close your eyes and think about anything that you can hear or see or smell or feel.

  Its kind of a cool experiment. I’ve tried it. But I bet I haven’t done that in close to a year!  I’m real good about sticking to things, apparently! 

  Just today, I read about how they did a study that linked people of a lower/more healthy weight to the same people who ate their food slowly. With conscious thought. Not while reading or watching TV or whatever. Uh-oh.

  I understand (in my head) the concept of weighing down the moments with my full attention.

   

  When your child hugs you, I imagine that it would be good to really stop and feel the weight of their little arms around you. Breathe in the scent of their little body.  Look them in the eyes.

  In a perfect world!!  Sigh.

  In my world, a lot of days I say something like “Ok, let go of me, Nikki. I need to keep on making supper.”

  I feel a lot of guilt about the way that my days fly by and I seldom seem to concentrate on one thing at a time, much less have meaningful moments with my family.

  But, on the other hand, I am not sure that it is really possible or feasible for a mom and wife.

  I am thinking that even if I had ONE moment a day that I could really freeze in time and remember, I would be doing well.

  Back when I did my “Noticer” series on my blog, I remember loving what I discovered through that — the fact that my life is full of really rich, great moments.

  I also remember learning that often what led to the great moments was doing something different than normal. Saying a “Yes” where I would have normally said “No”.  And then really being present in that moment.

  I DO recall a moment from yesterday.   Derrick wasn’t feeling good. He had a headache and fever. At some point in the evening, he was standing up and I just gave him a hug and maybe asked him how he was feeling. (Ok, I guess I’m not SUPER clear on all the details.)  Anyway, this is what I remember:  As I hugged him, he actually leaned into me. Leaned against me.  And stayed there for more than a second.  His head fits right up against my collarbone…he’s getting that tall.  I remember thinking that the hug seeemd to say “I still need you Mom.  I find comfort in your closeness.  I want to be hugged, even if it doesn’t always seem like it.” 

  Maybe I could do this?  Set the alarm on my phone for a certain time each day and then make myself stop at that time and close my eyes and think about what I can see or smell or hear or feel. It could be a fun experiment.

  I could do a trial run right now!! (Says the over-achiever within me!)

    

  What I hear?  Two guys talking in the main part of the office.  The hum of the pellet mills vibrating on the other side of my office wall.  My little heater running (of and on) at my feet (because I’m always cold).  The clacking of the keys as I type.

  I see my computer screen. I see a logger in the outer office, wearing all tan clothing and a tan hat, (why??)  telling a story in an animated way.  Papers in hand.  I see checks waiting to be signed. I see the big pink ring I am wearing on my right hand.  My water bottle.  Sticky notes.  The phone. Piles of papers.

  I feel happy.  And relaxed. 

  What can I smell?  Nothing, really.  Maybe my own perfume. I guess the air around here is scent-less.
  

  I am interested in your tricks for learning to pay full attention to those special moments in your lives. Because God knows I can use all the help I can get!

  • 4:05 pm
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