September 17, 2012

• Snarky Makes an Appearance

  I asked my kids the other day if there was any special food that they were hungry for.

  You know, one of Mama’s specialties. Not that I refer to myself as “Mama”, but in this case, it just seems appropriate. 

  I don’t know what I expected, exactly. Lavish praise of my culinary skills. Blue eyes looking up at me and pleading that I make my “special meatballs”?

  What I got were shrugs and “I can’t think of anything’s” and then a “The only thing you make that I really like is haystacks” from the 10 year old.

  Are you f’ing kidding me? I have been cooking for these kids for years…making all sorts of delightful dishes, and collectively they can only come up with ONE thing that they like that I make???  You know what??  You know what????   Mac and cheese for the whole bunch of you for a year!!  Then we’ll see if you remember anything good that Mama used to make!

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  I purchase an audio book on I-tunes. I am trying to find a way to make my treadmill time more interesting. As if that is going to happen.  Now, I can’t for the life of me figure out how to get it from my computer to my phone.  It is driving me crazy.

  It is titled “The Witness” and if I can’t figure it out pretty soon, I’m gonna need a witness to the fact that I took a sharp object to the computer screen.  Or my phone. Or both.

  Speaking of phones…I love, love my I-phone.  I honestly would never hurt it. ^^  I use it constantly.  In fact, I have been wondering if my phone is the reason that I have developed adult A.D.D.  It seems I cannot keep my mind on one thing for longer than about 30 seconds.

  I feel constantly distracted.  Hmm…just wondering if there is a connection.  But…moving right along…

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  The other day my girlfriend said “I’m just not an App girl.”  That’s like saying you don’t like watermelon. Or cheeseburgers.  Or McDonald’s french fries. Or Paris in the spring. 

  Why would you NOT be an “app girl??”  Apps are friggin’ awesome!  I use them for everything.  You know the saying, right “There’s an app for that”.  I have found this to be quite true. I have an app for tracking the food I eat and the money I spend. I have an app for reading and listening to the Bible. I have an app for checking the weather, a dictionary app, an app to play Hangman or any other number of games.  I have a camera app. An app for playing Solitaire.  A GPS app and a Pandora app. An app to locate places that are close to you and an app called Sound Hound that you can turn on and just hold up to your radio in the car and it will tell you what song you are playing.  And that’s just the beginning.

  Jeremy is totally terrified to hook up his phone to our main computer because he doesn’t want to get all of my apps onto his phone. He says it takes him FOREVER to delete them all!

  Although, recently, my 7 year old son has asked for an app called “Potty Racers”.  Which I downloaded.  Something about that name just seems wrong.  What exactly do the Potty Racers do?  See who can get to the bathroom first? And then there are a limited number of stalls?  Or who can go to the bathroom the fastest?

  Or…possibly, none of the above. Because when I watched Kendall played, the game seemed to be mostly about these Porta-potty looking machines that you had to try to get through/over the water to the other side. 

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  If you ever are thinking that “working for home” sounds like a glamorous and/or easy way to make a living, call me first. I will give you a free consultation wherein I try to dissaude you from trying the whole “work from home” thing.

  For me, it has lost it’s charm years ago.  Yes, I am my own boss. And therein also lies the problem: I am my own boss. That means there is NO ONE I can delegate anything to.  Not even the filing. And nothing happens unless I do it. And I cannot “leave work” because work is at home.  Plus, since I have various clients, it seems like one of them is always needing something.  Sometimes, I feel like the flexibility that I get with being my own boss could easily be replaced by the seductions of a cubicle, a place that I could go to and leave from, someone who brings me my coffee and calls me by the wrong name, and a side benefit of no one calling me at home.

  Yet, I do not want to be ungrateful. I had a dream. I pursued it and made it happen.  And while it may have its downside, it is certainly not a nightmare.

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  But speaking of nightmares.  I had a terrible, terrible, vivid dream the other night.  In it, my worst fear as a Mom came true.  I stood by the front door and witnessed my daughter about to get run over by our pick-up.  Just when the tires were about to either miss her little body or run over her, I woke up, completely shaken.  It was horrible!! I don’t know when I will possibly forget the dream.

  And…then there is this:  Was it some sort of a warning for me? Was it a premonition? Or was it just a stupid dream?  Anyway you look at it, it was awful.   Sorry, I know that was kind of a downer in this otherwise (mostly) upbeat post.  But it was on my mind. So I wrote about it.  I tend to do that.

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  Jeremy was gone over the weekend. He went to Chicagoland Speedway with 4 other buddies.  He had an AWESOME time, he tells me.  In fact, as he told his buddy Mike, it just might be the “most fun he has ever had.”  I tried not to be offended by that.  What about all of the FUN times you and I have had together over the years, my dear husband??  Are these now but vague recollections…overshadowed by three days and two nights at a NASCAR track?  Wow! Where have I gone wrong?

  Anyway, I would like to say that I missed him terribly, but I actually had a really good time.  I got a ton of cleaning and organizing done and that felt really good. It seems that the “feeling better” after kicking the sugar habit is just now kicking in and I seem to have a boundless supply of energy. (Hmm…I wonder if I could use the work “kicking” one more time in that sentence??  I bet I could make that happen.) Let’s just hope it lasts. But while it does, I am throwing stuff out of our house by the garbage full. Literally.

  While Jeremy was gone, I got together with a friend and we just sat and talked for 6 or 7 hours. It was awesome! I got to bed at 1 PM.  I watched a movie. (Definitely, maybe — That’s the title of the movie. Not the consensus of whether or not I watched the movie.)  I slept in and I got to spend some quality time with my kiddos.  I went to the park with some friends on a gorgeous Sunday.  On the way home, I was in such high spirits that I called out to the back seat “Anybody want ice cream cones??”  Of course, they all did.

  And then, on the way home, I cranked up “I gotta feeling” to an incredibly high decible and sang along, snapping my fingers to the timing and bopping my head back and forth with gusto. When I glanced back at Derrick, I am pretty sure that he tried to hide behind his ice cream cone and avert his eyes, because sometimes, its just hard for a 10 year old to deal with a Mom who is acting like a hyped up teenager. Hey, I had fun!! Just go back to eating your cone and stop staring.

  That said, it was nice to have Jeremy back home.  I woke up when he crawled into bed beside me at 2:30 this morning.  And he got up to see the kids off to school.  We still have a lot to catch up on.  I am always one for getting all of the information and stories I can get.

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  I went and got my hair cut today.

  I am a little embarrassed because my roots are VERY grown out right now.  In an effort to save money, I have stopped getting my hair colored at the salon and have been having a friend do it.  But I still go to the salon for my haircuts. Is that a salon faux pas?  I don’t know.  Maybe I should Google it.

  Anyway, it is very high time for my roots to be touched up, but it doesn’t suit my friend to do it until next Friday.  Which is fine.  But I wondered if my hair stylist was totally appalled by my hair.  Maybe it kind of hurt her heart to see hair in the shape mine is in?  She had the good graces not to say anything.

  PS — Whenever she styles my hair, it turns out looking nothing like I style it.  And not necessarily in a good way. I always feel like she is trying to turn me into a 50′s house wife.  The way she shapes my bangs…all curled under, and the way she teases the hair at the back of my head and then puts these extra floofies (yes, I made up that word.  It rhymes with poofies.) in weird places.  I always feel like I need to shower and change my “do” before I should go in public.  But I don’t. Mostly because I am, yes, THAT lazy.

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  That is all. Because I feel like, in the mood I am in, if I write anything else it might come out even more embarrassing than what I have already written.  You’ll thank me later.

  Good-bye for now, peeps!

  • 4:44 pm
  • 10 Comments