October 30, 2012

• RWOTD {Raw}

  In case you didn’t know, there are many definitions for the word “raw”.

   

  But I was thinking to focus more on definitions 9 – 11 (at least according to the “Free Dictionary”).

   

                          9. Outspoken; crude: a raw portrayal of truth.

                         10. Powerfully impressive; stark: raw beauty; raw talent.

                         11. Nude; naked.

   

  When I think of raw, I think of a co-worker whose Dad just died…way too young.  Raw grief.

  I think of someone going through a divorce or a break-up.  Raw emotions.

  A betrayal by a friend.  Raw hurt.

  We talk about wanting people to be genuine.  Most people would say they value or that in a friend.

  But when it crosses the line into raw, people shy away.

  We’re talking ugly crying and bursts of emotion and words spilling out faster than you can think them.  That kind of raw.

  Few people are prepared for that. 

  It has often amazed me…the intricacies of relationships. 

  Be genuine. Be real.  Be yourself.  Don’t be insecure.   

  But don’t be too weird.  Too raw.  Too needy. Too clingy or too full of pain.

  Because then people can’t deal with it.

  Maybe I am jaded, I don’t know. 

              

  So often I censure my words, afraid of the reaction if I am too honest and too raw.  I have seen people recoil when the truth strikes them.  But I have also had people whose responses were like salve on my wounds.  Grace.  Compassion.  Love.     Amazing!! 

  And I know that I have also been the one who has turned away from someone else’s pain.  Their need. Because I didn’t feel up to it or felt at a loss to know how to help or what to say.  I feel badly about that and wish that I would always choose to offer grace and understanding and a listening ear.  That I would always realize that someone choosing to open up to me is an honor.  And to honor them in return. 

  I can also think of times that I was completely honest and raw with a friend or with my husband.  There is something healing that happens in those times of full disclosure and openness.  But there is also a great vulnerability that goes with it.  Vulnerability is a two-edged sword.  It can lead to greater closeness or it can drive a wedge.  A lot of times you never know until you make the decision to be vulnerable.

                             

  I would have to say that the closest and best friends in my life are people who know me at my ugliest and still love me.  There is a loyalty that is formed when raw emotions are shared and someone doesn’t choose to walk away or withdraw.  And it can be a beautiful thing in a friendship.  Only you can know when you feel safe enough to trust someone to share something raw.  Its always a chance.

  Its not that I think we all need to go around spilling out all of our raw emotion all of the time.  I feel like that would be pretty disasterous.

  But I think all of us long for someone who really gets us and who is Ok with who we are deep down.  Where no one sees.  Where the hurts hide and the tears stay dammed up.  Someone who understands the lonely places of our soul.

  I have come to realize that God is probably the only one who can really understand some parts of me.  And that is a hard thing for me! Because I want a living breathing person that I can touch and see who gets me like that.  Who can finish my sentences or know what I mean without me even having to say it.

                                        

  But then what would drive us to God?  The One who loves us more than we can ever imagine and who “gets” us in the deepest and darkest parts of our soul.  The One who knows not only our past and our present, but also our future. 

  • 1:21 pm
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