May 31, 2011
-
Guest Question…
A Xanga reader wrote this to me in a message:
I don’t think I can write up a guest post on this topic, not having totally been there myself, but I would love to know from others…
Do you miss being conservative? If so, what aspects? If no, why not?
Yes, I am the person who blogged about finding a new church, and yes, we are looking, still. I really have no bias or hidden agenda in asking that question. I never have been ultra conservative, and we as a family have no concrete idea which way we’ll go as far as churches are concerned. But as I visit different churches and pray over our future, I wonder about the answer to this question.
My two cents:
I have some thoughts of my own, but I am not exactly sure how to share them without being offensive.
I guess I will just say this: I was at one time conservative Mennonite and am not anymore. It was a choice Jeremy and I made about 4 years ago and I have not regretted it, although I realize that the whole story of our lives and our children’s lives has not yet been told.
I have a lot of respect for some of the people that I went to church with growing up. Others, not so much. Bottom line for me is this: It is not about whether we are “conservative” or “liberal”…these are just labels that other people like to slap on us. It is about having a heart after God. It is about total surrender to Him. It is about a hunger for God. It is about understanding God’s love and passing that on to other people around us. It is about grace. It is about a relationship that is REAL.
I think that you can have those things no matter where you are as far as church or where you are on the “conservative vs. liberal” spectrum. I do understand wanting to go to a church that supports your beliefs and the way you feel the Bible is to be interpretted.
For me…people look at me (on the outside) and judge where I am with God because I don’t dress a certain way anymore.
But I KNOW the work that God has done in my heart and the relationship I have with God now that I didn’t before. I have a confidence in where I stand with God and I really don’t care that much if others feel the need to judge me for the way I look. I feel like I was a person who needed to get away from all of the external emphasis and the rules to be able to really pursue a real relationship with God apart from my performance. But that’s just my story. I tend to be a very legalistic person and I had virtually no understanding of God’s love and grace prior to about 5 years ago.
What do the rest of you have to say about this “guest question?” I would LOVE to hear from you!
Comments (19)
Love the way you wrote this! SO well written! I think you wrote so much what I feel. I miss you – Mj
That is an excellent question! Very though provoking. I think you really hit the nail on the head Audry when you touched on motivation. Your motivation for getting away from your “conservative” roots was to grow closer to God, to have an intimate relationship that was not wrapped up in dos and don’ts (I hope I’m not putting words in you mouth).
I have seen others leave conservative churches for reasons that are not so honorable. They didn’t really want a close relationship with the Lord they wanted to pursue their own pleasures under the guise of “grace” and “spiritual growth”. Who now show disdain for their roots and have taught their children to do the same (which in my opinion is a dangerous thing to do). I think the fact that you still have respect for some of the people who chose to remain Mennonite also speaks volumes. Huh, looks like I did my own little “guest rant” right here in the comment section
Great post Audry enjoyed your perspective and thoughts about this subject.
I agree with you. I know some people who truly have a heart for God’s people and they do His work, and some of them are very conservative some are very liberal but both do such an awesome job. I also know people of the opposite nature from both camps as well. Those are just labels you put on stuff. And as to whether you missed being “conservative” I would think the heart of that question would really be do you miss those people and that lifestyle. You don’t really miss an “ideal” or a “concept” so much as you miss the people and things that represent it. If that makes any sense at all.
Not having come from that background I cannot say, but I do like what you said about having a heart for God and drawing in close to Him.
@maryjunemiller - Ditto!
I read your post this morning…and have been on your page all day. I left a comment earlier and then hit the back button on accident and it erased! Sooooo…now you get a short thought! hahaha.
I think you explained this very well Audrey.
I also like inanorchard’s comment. Her little “post” was good to read. =)
Happy Tuesday to you.
i can’t speak for someone who has gone from ‘conservative’ to ‘liberal’. however, i can speak as someone who Has gone from liberal to conservative. and, my biggest comment and thought would be that: it is not about what we look like on the outside. it IS about what we look like on the inside to GOD, the only true judge of our souls. missing ‘things’ from either camp is going to happen…in some form or another. but, missing the spiritual things is of eternal consequence, whereas the ‘things’ are not.
Ditto to foreveranoatneygirl_n2Hisown and to inanorchard! Both great thoughts
Good points are made both in your post, Audrey, as well as in the comments that follow. I will say that your experience in learning about the grace of God and also about growing in relationship with God pretty much echoes my own personal experience.
And, oh, yes, the precious labels.
hmmm….lots of views, very little comments? what’s up with that?! ;O)
have a great day Audrey!
@inanorchard - i agree you April, and especially with what you said about showing disdain…such! a dangerous thing to do, and even worse to instill in the next generation.
Having never made a move, I’m not qualified to answer the question, but I love the way you put this Audrey. What is up with all the labels anyway? It is all so relative. I am sooooooooo conservative to most, yet when I get together with my dad’s family this weekend, I will appear sooooo liberal compared to most of them. Yet we seem to label only by external appearances. Sometimes people’s hearts would be labeled differently than they appear.
Great thoughts in the comments, too!
I’ve never made a drastic change, so I can’t really answer the question she asked, but I love all the comments I keep reading.
I like Michelle’s comment, why do we label everyone? I’m just as guilty as the next person for looking at someone and seeing only the outside and basing my judgement on that. Why do I judge before I see their heart?… Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had a little heart-o-meter on our chest to show whats on the inside
… but after thinking about it, we do have. It’s there for everyone to see if we just take the time to find it and see what their heart is really saying. Eventually what’s on the inside comes out, no matter if your a liberal or conservative, and that’s what matters!
~Have a good day!
@foreveranoatneygirl_n2Hisown - I was thinking the same think Rachel. Although I am loving the comments that have appeared! Rachel, you cut straight to the heart of the matter in your typical strong/sweet style
@inanorchard - @foreveranoatneygirl_n2Hisown - I love both of your perspectives SO much! You both worded it so well, I can only nod my head and agree completely! It’s the relationship with our Father that is the heart of the matter, and that shows through in every person – regardless of where they are on a conservative/liberal “scale”.
I’ve had this post up in my browser since yesterday and now I’m finally commenting. I can’t really add anything to these fabulous comments! I just know that I went through a very hurtful process and was more or less forced to leave those circles… and then sometimes now I wonder what if? I miss the friends I had and the lifestyle in general. I went through a time of being really bitter with a lot disdain, but I’m coming out of that. I’d encourage everyone to have a lot of mercy and grace with anyone who is going through a really hurtful time… We’re all on different journeys!
Being raised very conservative (Amish) and changing to Mennonite was a huge leap. After 7 1/2 years I have still not yet recovered. I do believe the lifestyle change was a huge one, the journey has not been easy. Mostly the pain involved, the rejection. Then the labels. I would NEVER EVER go back. But, looking back I sometimes wonder if I would not have had a easier life- staying. Less painful.
But easy isn’t what it is about, now it is??
The journey is hard, I am still releasing the past. BUT- I see into the future and I have no clue what God for us in the next few years. My faith continues to grow as I trust His plan being ultimately THE BEST.
My heart toward God and others has changed more then anything outwardly. And I slowly am releasing the fear of man that has gripped my very soul for years. I can love and accept people OUTSIDE my circle, and I believe THAT is one of the biggest changes IN my life. Because I now understand culture and lifestyle has little to do with your relationship with God. But you can make culture and lifestyle a big deal- being either liberal or conservative. That is where a lot of the judging and labels begin -
Love what was written by everyone, Audrey you too. And that is where I stand amazed, how much I have learned from others wise words and loving example/walk with God.
I keep coming back here, because I have so many questions about things like this. I’m not sure how to articulate what I’m thinking, but I enjoyed reading the various comments. I’m like Michelle, really conservative to a lot of people, and pretty liberal to others. Outwardly, I don’t look that much different than I used to, but my focus has changed so drastically in the past 2 years, and God continues to work in my heart about some of these things. I would love to have a more in-depth conversation with some people about this subject (like you, Audrey) because I know there is so much that cannot be said in a public place like this.
Good thoughts. I too would be probably considered more conservative by most and yet liberal by the Mennonite circle. One thought I would add is YOU CAN BE TOTALLY LOST in either circles !!! For me is the big question WHY do I do what I do ? If I’m going to blame it on the church then I better sit back and have another look. I can’t stand when people do that. I better know why I do what I do personally. Instead of answering the questions with “well I go to the Mennonite church.” It has to be inside and a heart issue. There are some very important things I love about the church I go too. Since we are so far removed from other “Mennonite” Churches I can’t speak in comparison because I have no idea. I love that accountibility, the being able to practice submitting ourselves one to another, I love that our children can grow up and enjoy childhood longer by not being bombared with adult stuff so young, I love that its not about the rules but the heart, I love that the issues of divorice, going to war, gay issues are not even discussed as they are not even an issue. When I read of other “Christian” churches are fighting over marring the same sex. I’m floored. How far from God can we get and still be saved ?
I too agree that labels are totally wrong. We can all learn something from each other regardless of the denomination. I find that some churches are more hospitable, some do more mission work, Some are more freindly, ( here the mainstream Mennonites could learn something, Being freindly to everyone) Some churches have more testamony and disscussion from the heart. And the list could go one.
Blessings to you,